Friday, December 25, 2009

Words that make you want to barf in your mouth.

You know how some words evoke this really squirmy, icky feeling inside you, probably similar to accidentally catching geriatric porn on late night TV or biting into a peach and finding a maggot?
This seems to be the case for just about everyone I know however, the words vary and come from the extremely graphic in nature to the everyday leaving me to wonder why certain words bug certain people.
For my boyfriend it is short form words. There are a few in specific but really any kind of unnecessary shortening of a word makes him uncomfortable. Sucks for him as I am the queen of short forms and live to invent new and inappropriate words that are only a fraction off what they once were. The more unnecessary, the better. For him, hearing these words are like eating big spiders accidentally in you sleep but then waking up as you have just bitten in and feeling the slimy green goo from their insides trickle down your throat. In particular he hates the words "combi" as in, combination OR combine and "heinu" as in heinous.
If you see him on the street tell him that he is a "wick combi of amaz and heinu" and watch him recoil and run the other way.
For my mom, it is made up words to describe body parts. We once heard the female genitals described as a "ha-ha". She almost lost it right there and then.
She also really hates swears. Not in the old fashioned way of just wanting to hear polite language around her, but in the way that swears make conjure up an image of a super fat truck driver lifting his layer of stomach or leg fat that smells that sickly sweet fat person smell and asking her if she wouldn't mind washing in between the folds. She has several times commented on the misuse of swears in my blogs. She thinks that people will think I am this dirty truck driver as a result. Let me assure you, I'm not.
My sister moves to the other end of the spectrum and it is everyday words that make her mad. "Blouse" is a word she cannot stand, and this goes for either context of the word, an actual blouse and to blouse out ones shirt. When I just asked her why she hates the word she said "It is a B-lousy word". She's witty like that.
She also hates the word panties and wonders why, oh why, underwear cannot just be called as such.
Here are some more common words that I have heard make people sick to their stomachs; "slick" - a word which summons an image of an unshowered Italian man who has OD'ed on the hair gel combing his hair while leering suggestively.
"gummy" - only in reference to a mouth, stimulates the picture of a saliva filled decayig jawline that smells like unbrushed teeth in the morning after binge drinking.
"conjunctavitis" - just call it pink eye.
"pleasure" (said in a sexy way) tends to remind people of something disgusting that someone disgusting in their past once said to them. Seriously, I have heard of more than one person who finds this an uncomfortable word to listen to.
Some not-so common words that have a universal gross-appeal consist of words like;
camel-toe, diarrhea, yeast infection, enema, and plaque. None need explanation I hope and all make me think nasty nasty thoughts.
My personal qualms in regards to wordage is the word "moist". I'm not even sure of what I imagine when hearing this word but it is something humid, unclean smelling and just cringe worthy.
Point: Find out what people's word aversions are. You can learn a lot about them and/or have some leverage when in n argument with them. I can never fight someone when "moist" is thrown on the table.
Also, although my boyfriend just pointed out that his reason for hating the word "combi" is that "combo" is already the short form for combination, I disagree. I pointed out that yeast infection medicine that combines an external cream calls itself a "combi-pack". It was a double barf in the mouth and the best Christmas present this girl could ask for.
Feliz Navidas everyone!!!

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