Thursday, December 17, 2009

FAFAFA FANTA

Why is there no Fanta in Canada?
A question I ask myself over and again every single time I step off home soil and find the neon orange glow of Orange Fanta illuminating the grocery store shelves in between Root Beer and Pepsi.
Fanta, for you uncouth, unclassy bunch who may not know is an orange fizzy beverage not unlike Orange Crush. The difference is that Fanta is less fizzy than your average soda, really neon and SO SO SO super sweet. Fanta pairs well with any meal including breakfast (trust me) and makes a delicious addition to any party.
My personal favorite: Fanta and Pizza. I begin as I usually do by eating only the cheese off the pizza- no Fanta, then I use my nails and scrape off the dough that has been moistened by the remaining tomato sauce- No Fanta then I roll up the crust and take small bites which I also include Fanta in. Delicious.
I am one of those eater at the same time as drinkers and love nothing more than any bread product getting soggy in my mouth by any given cola product/ coffee before I swallow it. I am the reason that there is such thing as backwash and let me tell you this dear reader, no backwash is better than Fanta/Pizza. Like Romeo and Juliet they are simply made for one another.
Ok, so then a few years ago I saw a Fanta sign on the grocery store wall in Toronto. It said "coming soon" and my anticipation for the day that Fanta could be my everyday drink was insurmountable. You can obviously see just what this precious drink means to my existence as a gluttonous pig so you can understand my excitement. The day came and went when Fanta was brought to the shelves and you want to know what reader? The brought three kinds of Fanta to Canada. Three kinds of different, shitty, never before heard of flavors like Tangerine Fanta. Tangerine. Seriously. Tangerine but not orange. There is also fruit punch Fanta, Grape Fanta (or something purple Fanta) but no regular, wonderful Orange Fanta.

WHY? For all seriousness, why? Who drinks these other flavors? I have never seen anyone buy them and the look hella gross.
Now I have to go ahead and buy another small suitcase to fit in some cases of Fanta to bring home with me.
Point: I realize that the owners of Fanta will never read this blog but just in case, Orange Fanta needs to make an immediate appearance in Canada. Having to buy all these bottles and cans of Fanta in the States just because I know that the meager supply I bring home will not last long and I have to ingest as much Fanta as possible makes me feel like a crack head.

2 comments:

  1. Jory, I totally get it. My bag is Ferrero Rocher and Diet Coke. I eat the chopped hazelnut and chocolate layer first. Then a sip of a slightly chilled Diet Coke (from a can, of course. I now live in a country of bottled Cokes and I defy popular opinion by preferring cans). I open the sphere and lick out the inside creamy chocolate, careful not to bite the full, inner hazelnut. Take a short sip. And then I eat the wafers and the nut. Chug the rest of the can. The ideal union.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have known this about you and even seen you do it, and your description still grosses me out. You certainly give a strong visual with your words. Keep the ramblings going Jane. They are FAbulous!!!

    ReplyDelete