Got a Dyson?

Vacuums on crack.

This past weekend as the wedding settles down and life goes back to normal, my hubby and I went to start collecting our amazing and generous gifts from the Bay.

First- Bay is the bomb. Fer Realz- this place is not to be overlooked. I have done 90 percent of my everything shopping there for the past little while and I back that joint hard. Am I sporting a feather necklace today purchased at the Bay- and on Bayday no less for a 25% discount- Hell ya I am. And each time I get a compliment, I kvell.

So Saturday we went to the Bay to grab our new stuff- getting married rules. We have a full stocked wicked kitchen and all the gizmos and gadgets that go with it. Number one on our wishlist, however, was the Dyson so we bit the bullet- used our gift card and spent almost 1000 dollars on a cleaning product. I have never been happier.

You see, we have a bad history of vacuums- which, you would think, would make us not purchase the same brand time and again up to now- but that's another story- well, it is actually the same story- but different- you know? (mind.blown)

We originally bought a Dirt Devil mini- we reveled in the size and power of this little sucker (pun intended). It took us about a month or so to break it- and by break it I mean that one day we plugged it in and gasped at the sound of a broken machine chain and the smells of burning.

We replaced it with a Dirt Devil regular size and it took us about a month or so to break it- and by break it I mean that one day we plugged it in and gasped at the sound of a broken machine chain and the smells of burning.

Dear Dirt Devil- you suck.

We then borrowed my mom's vacuum- had it for 1 day- plugged it in the next day and gasped at the sound of a broken machine chain and the smells of burning. Are you following the pattern here?

So perhaps it isn't Dirt Devil that sucks, maybe it is us? But let's blame Dirt Devil- way more fun.

Of course, since we break every vacuum that comes within a 90 foot radius of us, we thought it responsible and obvious to buy the Dyson- thank god for the 5 year bonus warranty- just saying.

So here is what we discovered about Dyson so far:
1. we bought the "Animal" version- it had an animal grooming attachment. Dyson has taught us to buy a dog- soon- value for your money people, value.
2. Dyson vacuums are recognized by the Asthma society- they fucking clean your air as they clean your floor- the air that comes out of them is actually cleaner than the air in your home. And then they wipe your ass in the bathroom and emit a light floral scent. BOOYA.
3. They clean. We vacuumed one tiny spot and it is hella cleaner than anywhere else in our home.
4. They cuddle- we love ours so much we let it sleep in our bed- it gives one mean spoon.

So what? You think I am super lameity lame because I just posted about a vacuum? Go get one- I dare you to NOT talk about it endlessly when you do.

Or, enjoy your unasthma society approved air. sucka