It's your captain calling, don't answer.

So I am being inundated at the moment with life spam and it is totally freaking me out.

It has been years since I received an email prompting me to consider the merits of Viagra or Liposuction but mere seconds since I was harassed by some other medium in some other way.

Case in point, as I was about to compose this blog about what happened to me yesterday on the phone- which was actually less spam and more the weirdest weirdo ever contacting me- to be explained further in a second- so I 'm writing, my WORK phone rings at my desk, I answer and am greeted with a steam engine whistle blow from my "captain" who is calling to alert me that I have won a prize- probably a ship related prize- although I hung up before finding out...

Um, dear fake automated captain, who listens to this crap- really?

If you are going to try and lure me into some kind of schemey trip thing- can you at least fork up the time and money for a real captain? How can I be expected to feel special and excited with a computer? AND- you stupid fucking captain, how many times will you call me in life before I am sure to know that I have not just randomy won a prize to a contest I never entered or knew about. You kill me.

Anyways, so back to what happened the other day with my phone- so, got a new phone- exclusive for work- brand new- no one knows my number. So I get this text at 7:45am "yo".
who "yo's" at 7:45???

Either way I don't write back but then get another message saying "who is this"
UG- amongst my ever growing list of pet peeves is when someone calls you (or texts you) and asks who you are- um, you called me asshole.
So of course I write back "who is this?"

heres how the rest goes:
HIM: I asked you who you were- I don't recognize this number
ME: You have a wrong number. Thank you.
HIM: You can at least tell me your name- maybe I know you
ME: You don't. Please stop texting me and delete this number
HIM: oh, now I know who this is, a bitch- have a nice life.

Ya, that really happened.

So, to my "yo" in the morning friend, and to the fake captain- please leave me alone. I'd rather get solicited to 1-900 number any day of the week via email that I can delete than have to actually answer to your equally obnoxious nonsense.

thanks.