A violation of the code.

So what you may already know about me is that I really hate centipedes. I found this out when I found them in my home and watched them scuttle across rooms at the speed of light with their ridiculous 400000 legs- not an accurate amount of legs but still.

So this summer I made a deal with myself to buck up and grow a pair- I mean, not literally obviously, because that would be gross, but I swore I would not hire another exterminator in 2011. I stuck to my guns.
I also felt that I had made a silent pact with the Centipedes in my house- I will not kill you in a mass genocide, you will stay out of my sight. We can live together in the same house without interacting- after all, I don't care much for small dark corners in closets so I thought it was a great arrangement.

That was until I met the super-centipedes and now I feel more terrified than ever and saddened to learn that my cherished Centi-pact is null and void. Now I have to start killing you all again (read: getting my fiance to kill you).

I have seen 3 this summer prior to last night. 2 in the sink- i killed them by drowning- and by accident really. And 1 on a wall that I just left alone to go back to wherever it was hiding and not return. My.Bad.

So last night I got home super late and was trying hard to wait up for my fiance who had been delayed on the flight home from his Stag trip- because, oh ya, we are totally getting married soon- so I am sitting up in bed, watching some TMZ when out of the corner of my eye I see a really fucking big Centi running across my windowsill. I remained calm, breather deep until the little bugger leapt off the sill- this thing seriously jumped off the sill onto my bedroom floor.

Are.You.Shitting.Me?????????????????????????????????????

Do they pump iron in their spare time too? How can they jump? How is that possible?

And, of course, where did he run to once he landed??????? Under my bed- and then I barfed (I didn't barf really).

This is so not ok. Around my bed was WAY off limits to my Centi co- habitants. Truce is over bitches and just like last summer, I will attack you with bleach and shoes and I will be ruthless.

Super Centi or not- I am about to go apeshit on your leggy little bodies.

Be warned. It is on.