Get.Out.

Sunday night, after a weekend of nonstop eating and drinking, I decided that what I needed was a good old fashion bucket of popcorn and a quiet night at the movies. It was only typical and expected that my movie going companions chose "Don't be Afraid of the Dark"- and if you read last 2 posts, you know how I felt about just the preview for that movie. Scared.

But I was intrigued and in the mood to be dark so I went along for the ride- only stopping to panic once we had finally sat down and the previews began- because, scary movies get scary previews and to me, depending on just how scary those previews are will dictate the movie you are about to see.

Anywho, scary was the name of the game.

So, the movie itself- and, as a side, I feel like I have written a lot about movies lately- are you bored?
Please understand that they are such a novelty to me that they stand out as shareable. Are they really? Maybe not- who really wants to read a review from a girl who sees about 4 movies per year and can't bear the thought of sitting still for 2 hours (and yes, I was checking my watch after about 30 minutes- and not for lack of enjoying the movie- just because I am insane).

But here you are reading away so here is my unwanted review.

The movie was good. The End. Just Kidding- not about the movie being good. It was.
So as far as horror movies go, this one was sufficiently scary lots of good creepy whispering etc.

However there were a lot of things that were either more funny than scary or just plain nonsensical.

The creatures who lived in the furnace and haunted the house were just kind of funny. In the preview, they are made to look horrifying- in the movie they are the size of Ken dolls with hunchbacks and tiny limbs. How can you be fiercely afraid of something that you can pick up and chuck against a wall? And, when they finally spoke in non- whispery voices, it was like, shut up creatures.

And, I'm sorry- why don't people ever get out of the fucking house?

Even when they came around and kind of believed the girl who was telling them all along that she was being stalked by creatures- they are like, well, we will deal with it after our dinner party. People, have you learned nothing from horrors of the past? LEAVE YOUR HOUSE or just don't be shocked and awed when you are terrorized.

Like, if your house is haunted, get out.

To me, if I were restoring an abandoned gothic mansion and my child told me that she was hearing her name called out from a creepy bolted in vent system in the furnace in a mysterious basement where someone had died and my mysterious gardener had warned me about creeping around in- I would just sell that shit and move the fuck out.

Please, if I lived in Thornhill Woods and my kid told me they were hearing creepy voices from the vent I would move out.

Moral of the story- if you have the slightest inclination that your home might be haunted- move out.
If you find a creepy basement room- move out.
If someone died a mysterious or horrible death in the home- don't even move in.

Haunted houses- always a bad idea to live in. Unless you are a ghost.