A pox on you, left side.

You know it is going to be a bad morning when your alarm doesn’t go off. 

I think that is a universal cue to the inevitable crap that will follow you around all day. I had to switch up my plugs last night to accommodate another fan in my room since the night before I was reduced to sleeping with ice packs that subsequently melted once I fell asleep and made my bed into a water bed- and a hot one at that. So in my plug rearrangement, my phone was moved onto the other side of the bed where I don’t have a bedside table. Now, despite being a total Tasmanian devil and a true spaz when it comes to most things, I do have my own mad methods of organization- I once heard this quote that said, “I’m not messy, I’m creative”- I like to think of my life in that way. But fuck my shit up and I am a mess- move around where I plug in my phone at night and I will, no doubt, forget to set my alarm on it and sleep in dangerously close to ‘leave the house’ time.

Without my usual 4-5 snoozes I had to actually wake up and get out of bed at the same time. I hate that. It is a little luxury I have in the morning to be able to wake up in 4-5 steps- you have to enjoy those little things when you run on an otherwise fairly boring and repetitive schedule.

I believe in morning breakfast too so the snoozing gives me time to warm up to the idea of putting food in my body- they say you should eat within 30 minutes of getting up- I am hungry all the time and I cant imagine waiting any longer- but still, first thing in the morning eating is a bit nauseating- it was done this morning begrudgingly.

I like to eat something cold when its hot, and hot when it’s cold so my summer breakfast of choice is Kefir, tons of blueberries, a sprinkle of organic flax seed and a hint of maple syrup. Seriously, nothing grosser than eating fermented dairy product 5 minutes after opening your eyes.

I had to rush and get lunch together and was SO thankful that I had bought this bag of organic Chipotle Corn soup. No fuss, no mess, no hassle- no chance.

I succeeded in pouring majority of the bag on the floor, half of that onto my new shoes and feet and a small amount found its way into the crevices between the drawers and shelves. So that was good. Note to self; don’t assume that ziplock bags are actually locked when you cut open the safety flap.

Now, I was already pushing my timing of course, and though i darted out the door on time I still managed to successfully leave my office pass and wallet at home, realizing this only as I was halfway to the subway- now I don’t live far, but when I am rushing and having a totally shit morning- that matters.

Got to the subway, got on the subway, plugged into my podcast only to be totally overwhelmed by the texture of polyester as the woman in front of me just nuzzled herself into me wearing a hideous floral top in a very very icky fabric. I didn’t move- I was worried that the next person I would stand beside would be wearing spikes all over their body- such would be my luck.

Got to work, tripped up the stairs, have 40000 emails to get to and it is only noon. Yi-pee.

Editors note- it is now 2pm and I JUST ate lunch- the corn soup was totally gross- of course.

Note to self- don’t knowingly go to sleep (or plug shit in) on the wrong side of the bed. Capeish?