Gobble gobble

To the woman who spent 6 stops on the subway this morning being disgusting.

Hi woman. Hi.
I know that you had no way of knowing you were sitting next to someone who, in the early hour of 7am had been forced to take a heavy painkiller to ward off yet another migraine after yet another sleepless night. There was no way that you could tell that unless you inferred from the fact that I was wearing a sweatshirt to work- and even then, how would you know I was going to work in the first place?

There was no way for you to anticipate that every single sound that morning was literally tearing my insides apart and causing me extreme pain- you wouldn’t have know that I cried on my way to the subway and you don’t know that in general, noises and smells tend to really offend me- but noises even more than smells.

That being said, what you MUST have know from being a member of society and existing in this world is that it is just plain disgusting to snort your obviously heavily mucus filled nose into your throat and then continue to make noises while digesting your own snot.

Furthermore, it is just f-ing VILE to then spit tiny wads of said semi-digested snot onto the floor of the subway.

To say I almost vomited sitting beside you would have been the understatement of the week. I puked in my mouth twice before moving spots.

I moved 3 times but could not escape from the sounds coming from your raunchy nose and mouth.

Being sick last month, I know the hardships of keeping the snot in your nose at all times during rides on the TTC- it is hard homegirl, really hard.

Might you try a tissue next time? Because, aside from making it impossible for me to eat breakfast or get the sound of your boogers out of my head, you are doing yourself and your lungs a severe disservice. No one ever got better from eating snot. Ever.

You certainly top the woman who sneezed in my hair yesterday so thank you for that.

And in that vane, thank you for showing yourself to be such a pig. I am thankful on this, thanksgiving weekend, to know you well enough to make sure I never come near you again.

So happy thanksgiving dear readers! I hope you have much to be thankful for and enjoy this glorious long weekend

Xoxo,
Jane.