Grey.

Dear readers,

Is it not futile at this point to keep apologizing for late posts, or weeks without posts at all? Yes, it is so I wont but I will reiterate how world/life has been really kicking my ass lately. If my world was a mortal combat game, I would be losing. If it was X men versus Magnito, you best bet that I would be magnetized against a wall. If this was Hulk Hogan versus Andre the Giant in a Wrestlemania for the ultimate title match... I don’t know who I would be, but it would be as self pitying as my other references.

Anyways, I could regale you with tales of insomnia, or something equally mundane or we could discuss the thing that is on everyone’s mind; 50 Shades of Grey.

I totally swore to myself that after the Hunger Games, I was off books that would be made into movies starring Robert Pattinson (and ya, he is totally in the next hunger games, I am not cross referencing Twilight -k?- doubt he would be 50 Shades, but he seems like the broody male character that would fill the role). Anyways, swore off crap books and vowed to pick up the Murakami on my nightstand and delve in.

And then I met Christian Grey.

It was an accident really. I had heard the name but not been formally introduced until one fateful night out with friends, the wife of the couple we were with happened to have it lying around and asked me if I wanted to try it. And I totally know that this is sounding like a scenario where someone lures you into smoking for the first time or something, but it is just that addictive.

Anyways, I took it home swearing to just glance it over and then put it aside for an actual good read.  1 full book later, that didn’t happen. 50 Shades of Grey is just that good/bad.

In case you have been on another planet, this book is socially acceptable porn. Like full out, graphic porn but you can read it on the subway and the only “looks” you will receive are others like you that are trapped in the world of uber erotica and are ashamed to be imagining the red room of pain while surrounded by strangers in their work clothes.

It is possibly the worst written book I have ever read ever. BUT the ridiculously simple and horrific sentence structure and poor use of very layman language only serve to make you skim the crap parts of the book a bit faster and get to the nitty gritty.

And of course, like any “good love story” (and I put that in quotes to accentuate the fact that it is in fact a terrible love story) it totally makes the female character out to be a ridiculous joke of a female. Don’t want to ruin too much but the things that Ana is ready to overlook just from dude smiling her way is laughable. I have seen all those someecard things about being in love with the character of Christian Grey and ladies, if you in fact are in love with this character, I pity you.

So anyways, obviously finished book 1, promised myself a break and promptly got book 2 which is now significantly worse because the whole book is still written as bad AND the initial shock of the lewd sexuality is now diminished (I am fully still reading it, and book number 3 despite this).

So basically, read the book.

The end.