Espesh after having such a dismal week.
Have you ever had insomnia? I battle with sleep often and badly- so I know my dear friend insomnia quite well. I always think it is the yang to the yin of having an active mind- in times of creating, talking, exploring, having an active mind is the bomb- in times of stress and anxiety, it is what leads me to remain sleepless for weeks on end.
People often think insomniacs do not sleep at all. This is incorrect. Insomnia, in case you are in need of a quick tutorial is marked by several symptoms including
- Trouble falling asleep on most nights
- Feeling tired during the day or falling asleep during the day
- Not feeling refreshed when you wake up
- Waking up several times during sleep
So I sleep, certainly, but have the most awful sleeps making me wish I could just not sleep to avoid the fake sleep I am otherwise experiencing. And it isnt like I am wired, on drugs or heavily caffinated either. In fact, more often than not I have had sleepytime tea or another equally sedative pre-bed concoction....
Here is my typical insomniac night;
Get in bed and read/ watch whatever my hubs is watching on tv
Turn off lights
Remember I have to pee
Get back into bed and try and get comfortable
Cant get comfortable begin to jimmy feet
Realize that all my jimmying has made me have to pee again
Get back into bed and repeat being uncomfortable
Realize it has been an hour since lights off and my level of discomfort has now make me wide awake
Think
Realize another hour has gone by
Debate taking a sleeping pill
(hour will determine whether or not this happens)
Go back to bed and keep my eyes closed until I fall asleep
Sleep restlessly and dreamlessly for 2-3 hours
Wake up and realize I still have 1-2 more hours of precious sleep until I actually have to be up again
Finally fall asleep into a restful sleep only to get woken up by my stupid alarm too soon after.
Find getting out of bed painstakingly awful
Do it and continue the day exhausted
Drink coffee
Repeat.
In the meantime, my husband snores peacefully beside me and the rest of the sleeping world rests their weary heads and recoup.
Anywho, it is starting to make me feel wonky but usually comes and goes in and around 3 weeks- which frankly is the maximum amount of time it takes to go actually insane.
But I have more to bitch about. Being sleepless makes me irritable (or PMS does, either or)
Sweet dreams....
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