V Day.

So peeps, Valentines Day is just around the corner- oh, and happy weekend- yay, the fun begins!!!

Remember when Valentines Day was a big deal- like, didn’t want to exist if you didn’t have a bf kind of deal? Is it still like that? I have no concept of what it would be like to celebrate a holiday without a significant other so I really don’t know if it is as ridiculous for late 20 early 30 year old women now as it was when we were 15.

Back in the day- V day was marked by excessive games of MASH and the ever fan favorite game of rating your peers by both looks and personality which ultimately resulted in disclosing your newest crush which meant they may or may not find out and then talk to you by recess which then meant you may spend recess together holding hands which would of course lead to you having a Valentine to exchange cheesy gifts like a stuffed animal or chocolates with which would lead way to the inevitable break up 1-2 weeks later when it became uncool to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend again.

15 year old kids fully have sex now so perhaps my above point is moot.

Can you imagine how crazy being 15 now must be outside of  V day- I totes digress but I was first kissing and just discovering what the bases really meant at that age- I wonder if there is pressure to lose your V card on V day???

Ah thinking about kids these days is always good birth control.

Anyways.

Soon after those pre-teen/ early teen years Valentines day was another marking of who had a serious monogamous relationship and who was a lonely single person- because, on V day, you couldn’t possibly be happy and single right? No- you were doomed to a night of envy and Ben and Jerrys.

V day also became this benchmark for new relationships- what would you get them? What would they get you? How would your first love holiday go? Would they drop the L bomb? Would it be a diamond?

I have spent a few Valentines Days with different boyfriends over time and have seen everything from the gift of an engraved Zippo lighter (because nothing says I love you like fire), jewellery (that Oliver Jeweler now has), dinner with complimentary champagne (sparkling cheap wine) and roses (I hate flowers), and candy...ok, so I hoard cinnamon hearts all year- so what?
Alls I can say to this all is it is no wonder it never worked out before I met my husband.

So how did we benchmark our relationship, you wonder?
No flowers, no bullshit, no I love you, just a paper crown, dinner eaten with our hands and a wining red and yellow knight- and ya, I am talking about V day at Medieval Times. It was always meant to be right from the beginning.

And then, in the natural progression of things, Valentines Day has become something you kind of ignore because, after all, you-love-each-other-every-day-so-why-do-you-need-another-day-for-this-expression-of-love-and-plus-you-are-way-too-cool-for-something-as-trite-and-stupid-as-valentines-day-plus-you-are-on-a-diet-because-your-stupid-old-body-cant-metabolize-chocolate-like-it-used-to-and-you-will-probably-just-gain-another-pound-or-develop-the-dreaded-adult-zit-and-flowers-are-expensive-and-you-have-a-mortgage-(or the thoughts of the mortgage to come)on-your-mind.

It’s like the more secure you are in a relationship, the less you have to prove yourself by celebrating an invented holiday.

Or on the flip side, much like sex at prom, it becomes the day to get engaged- which, I must digress and say: don’t.do.
Why would you do that? It is like proposing on a birthday, new years, or Christmas. What happens if the relationship doesn’t last? So every valentines/birthday/new years/Christmas should be a miserable reminder of your love lost? Or if the relationship does last you have to share your freaking anniversary with another holiday- NO, I will take 2 separate days of celebrating thanks so much.

Well, F that. I am standing against engagements on V day but more against being too cool to celebrate it. If everyone stopped celebrating bullshit holidays then I’m pretty sure May 2-4 and Halloween would be on the chopping block as well- what about Family Day?? That shit was JUST invented in my lifetime! We have to take a stand people. And sure, we don’t get a day off for Vday- but we do get sale holiday chocolate on Feb 15th and onward- and isnt that better?

And so, this year, I am celebrating- we are getting one another activities and we will love them dammit.
But seriously, how cute is that? Activities?? V day yields 2 fun dates instead of 2 pounds.

Holla. What are you doing to celebrate your love?
Wakakakakaka- how deep is your love????????????????