Ghetto Love= Pure Poetry

Last night after the most lovely evening celebrating my parents 34 years of marriage with a table full of goodness at Enoteca, I got home and took to the couch to try out my new glitter nail polish and indulge in some girly time.

With my finace away, I rarely watch anything other than Slice, E and TLC. Between My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and Keeping up with the Kardashians, I am never bored and have so much mindless fun.

So I am shamelessly watching Etalk after a good episode of Ice Loves Coco and after catching up on dated celebrity gossip with the ever orange Ben Mulroney- seriously, I have been trapped with him in an airport after a bird flew into the jet of my plane and we had to have an emergency landing in Ft. Lauderdale and he is really that orange, Dear Self tanner- they do this “profile” on Karl Wolf- a Canadian singer/ songwriter who you may remember from such amazing jams as the remake of “Africa.”

Now, I cant even pretend like I didn’t like that song- sure, Africa did not need a remake but to hear it on the radio- remixed nonetheless, all the time for several weeks was awesome. Plus, good smooth white boy beats (ok, he is from Lebanon, but still) are my kryptonite. If you are white, and specifically from Canada and sing about anything slightly ghetto- I love you. Shawn Desmond, here is looking at you.

So anyways, they are previewing his new song, aptly titled “Ghetto Love.” 

Where do I even begin on this one? First of all, as such a seasoned  “songwriter” (who was able to rip off Toto and sink in some sexy beats at the same time) I was DYING to know what kind of inspired work “Ghetto Love” could feature. Second, the name alone is amazing. Is he singing about a girl who lives in the ghetto? A girl who acts ghetto? Do they both live in the ghetto? The suspense was killing me- I ate all my nails off in anticipation.

After the mini interview where Karl discussed the important things in life like being able to travel the world and see cool stuff with his posse- because, he would be nothing without his peeps- and you can quote that-they tell us we are getting a sneak preview of his brand new video- I shit myself.

Pan in on Karl atop some dusty mountain in the desert, wifebeater on, jeans hung low hands waving as he belts out his thought provoking and awe inspiring lyrics for “Ghetto Love” which include;

"And then I take her to the parking line


Jump into my car and straight to my spot say wohoo


Then she started to fight as she stepped out of the club


Only cause a fan gave me a lil hug so I said..."

 MIND. SHATTERING.

Shakespeare would be proud..

But the kicker- and the reason I have chosen to dedicate more than 5 seconds of my life to thinking and writing about Karl is the chorus.

Here is it-brace yourselves:

"I am the man who will fight for your heart


I’ll be the hero that you’re dreaming of


We’ll live forever, knowing together


That we did it all for this ghetto ghetto love"

Sound familiar? Now sing it in the tune of Peter Cetera’s 1986 Billboard topping song “Glory of Love”

Could you just barf?

Seriously. I had to pause and rewind several times to make sure that he had actually crafted his song to remove the “glory of love” and change it to “this ghetto ghetto love.”

A slow- VERY slow clap for this musical genius and songwriter extraodinaire. Please look forward to 10 year olds grinding at camp dances while engaging in their own ghetto love. If this hits the radio- god help us all.