This morning, trapped inside my too hot car and stuck on the highway not moving I opted for the radio to calm my restless nerves. 2 hours in the car is a little bit much, even for a veteran commuter like myself (by veteran I mean that I cry every single time there is traffic, which is usually about once or twice a week but only just whimper the remaining days on the road). I am usually a radio girl finding it easy to get lost in my imagination world with the mundane hum of Top 40 in the background and maybe even soothing to hear Bruno Mars’s “Grenade” every 5 minutes on rotation between 4 stations. Don’t know who Bruno Mars is? Lucky you.
Anywho. I usually save the news for the way home when I no longer can rely on my imagination and thoughts. By then, I don’t mind the depressing list of who was murdered or arsoned or how many car accidents there were as my mind has already gone to grey and my only pleasure for the hour I have to get home will be actually getting home.
So here is the “breaking news”
2 people die in a hit and run in some shitty part of the city
A man robbed as he crosses the street somewhere else
It will snow for the next 400 days and that will be followed by rain and some other grim forecasts to look forward to.
And then finally, after the gore and grit of what had happened after dark, the newscaster moved on to a more important and serious topic. He looked to explore, in a 20 minute segment no less, the new trend to make versus buy Valentine’s gifts. Is it the lackluster economy that has caused this change or just a nod back to less commercial more traditional time of celebrating the one you love? Who knows and who cares. They delved into the “statistics” behind this story, that surprisingly, men actually do prefer hand made gifts and how much each respective sex will spend on a store bought V-day treat for their honeys.
Are you kidding me news? Let’s just begin at the surface of this “report”- who in the world is the statistic expert behind Valentines day? That a job? How does one become a Valentines Day research and data expert? Is this the work of Cupid? Are you telling me that Cupid works for AM news?
Do I really need to begin my day dumber than I will end it?
Next, who is listening to this crap? Who turns on the news and anxiously awaits the report on this months Hallmark invented holiday?
Next, they lumped this insightful topic in with “Breaking News”. Again, really? Is this the most important news of the day? If we don’t live in Pleasantville- and the homeless man who followed me down a street screaming lurid sexual remarks before peeing on the side of former Maple Leaf Gardens would suggest that we do not-then I am more than sure that there is something more worthy of 20 minutes of news time than a debate over Valentine’s gifts- oh and just as a side note, in case you are date confused, I may expect this kind of nonsense on Valentine’s Day itself but let’s just note that it isn’t for another 6 whole days.
Finally, and I hate to get political or anything like that, but our world is in upheaval. Just look at what is going on right now in
Point: I for one don’t give a rats ass about whether or not you make a giant heart out of construction paper or whether you buy a giant heart shaped tray for the person you will be sharing Valentine’s Day with. I think the holiday itself is probably one of the stupider ideas in our collective tradition anyways so how you celebrate a dumb holiday is entirely inconsequential to me.
I can only just hold my breath and wait for Easter to find out what the most popular egg dying color is.- do you hear that news people? Your next groundbreaking story has been taken care of so with your newfound spare time perhaps looking into actual news would be a thought. Or not. Just saying
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