Spooooooooky Salem

Back in October my boyfriend and I decided to get away for a week after a long year. We debated somewhere hot, somewhere exotic and decided instead to take advantage of the gorgeous fall foliage and road trip. Luckily for us, we had the most fantastic road trip destination ever, a gorgeous cottage/home tucked away on Martha’s Vineyard, a pristine and beautiful island just off of Massachusetts. We both thought we would choose places to see and things to do but my only desire was Salem.

Now, I wont say that I feel like in a past life I could have been a witch, because, frankly, that’s just weird (even if I do, too weird to admit). But I will say that I have had a strong attraction to darker things and dark things mixed with political history is like a dream come true for me so Salem has been somewhere that I have been dying to see- a treasure of historical oppression and magic.

Was it especially amazing that it was right near Halloween and I had been reading about Salem’s month long Halloween festival? Absolutely- that part I left out in my pitch to my boyfriend who really didn’t see the lure of the National Witch Museum as worth going out of the way for.

Anyways, we set the course and planned on visiting Salem the evening before ferrying over to the vineyard.
We arrived in Salem around 2 and initially I was disappointed. I had really in my heart of hearts believed that the whole place would be Sephia colored. I imagined vultures and ravens watching you from rooftops and windows above stores boarded up with decaying wood so suffice to say that when we parked beside a Starbucks and Krispy Cream I was abruptly shaken from this gothic fantasy.

Delight filled my whole body as we paid for parking beside a man dressed as a vampire. This was more like it! I prayed that he was not in costume but rather that he was just out and about on a regular day with fangs and white face makeup…

Our first street led us to the witch museum and witch theatre. Not being one to tolerate lines, I made the swift decision to avoid them and not have an hour guided tour through witch dungeons. I wanted to really see the essence of Salem by walking its creepy streets and drinking magic potions, maybe even buying a broomstick…. Who knew….

What we saw was the antithesis of my imagined spooky world. Instead of deserted streets with lurking pedophile- looking men and old haggard women were hundreds of people and tons of booths and shops bustling with energy and selling neon witch hats and dollar-store charms. Gone were the mystics I imagined doing business with and in their place were fat men smoking cigarettes and leering at the kids in their stores, daring them to shoplift a magic wand.
This is not at ALL to say I didn't love what I saw, it was just more like haunted Disneyland and as we all know well, Disneyland can never be bad.

I walked around the streets like a kid at a fair, touching everything, staring at everyone with my boyfriend panic strikingly walking behind me hissing my ear to hold my purse tight and watch my ring (he had proposed to me 2 days prior and I now sported a gorgeous and expensive diamond on my hand). Apparently what I saw as my dream playground, he saw as a crowd infested orgy of shady looking people bent on pocket picking from the innocent visitors- who was right? No clue.

Everywhere we went people looked weird, like the vampire boy. I silently dreamt of living in a town where Halloween was everyday and felt envious of these people who felt at ease roaming the streets wrapped in sheets and blood.

Finally, I found the perfect shop. Tucked away on a shadier street and much less full of acne marked teenagers and toothless old people it seemed a true gem. I looked high and low for something to take home as a magical souvenir and just as I was about to settle on the love amulet, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a box called “Magical dripping candles”. The box looked old and was covered in cobwebs AND, who wouldn’t want magical candles- what could they do? I had to know! So for 10 dollars, I purchase a pack of 2 and as giddy as could be left the store to head back to the car.

Like the cherry on the sundae of my perfect haunted day our walk back was followed by a zombie parade!!! So, unfortunately, all the people I had seen all day dressed up were a part of the parade and not just local citizens expressing their propensity towards wizardry however, WOOHA!!! A zombie parade!!!

I realize that Salem did not plan on having me visit from 2-5 on that October day but being literally marched to our car by men coughing up fake blood and screaming about eating out brains while my boyfriend held my left hand with the grip of death, practically dragging me off the street really made it feel like the whole thing had been organized for my personal entertainment.

kudos to you Salem.

Point. Whether or not you spent some of your awkward teen years practicing witchcraft with your friends after watching one too many rounds of The Craft or not, Salem is a pretty cool place. If you spend your time wisely (not literally, skipping through the streets taking pictures with random people and trying on every witch hat in sight) you can really learn a lot about American politics, women in history and a mini horror story of persecution. I am sure that what the museum had to offer would have astounded me. You can stay in stunning old mansions (complete with your own ghost) and enjoy the cobblestone lined streets full of yummy looking restaurants.

In fact, I loved Salem so much that I was not even that distraught when weeks later in a gross variety store I found “Magic Dripping Candles” for 2.99, same box and all. The rip off was magical.