The month of December was… how shall I put it… wildly gluttonous, for me. I had a total of 4 Christmas dinners (I don’t celebrate Christmas), a minimum of 3 dinners per week at some restaurant or another, and a total overload on Presidents Choice frozen pizzas and Kraft dinner. It was bad, real bad, and I remember one particular dinner while polishing off my own entire round of triple cream brie thinking that not too long ago I had been a normal, balanced eating, gym going person. I had a yoga schedule and gym friends and in mere weeks had transformed into a phyllo pastry, pasta, cheese and butter guzzling freak. To drown my sorrows and quell my anxiety about my body turning into a pound of lard I drank as much wine as one person could consume. Wine went with (and goes with) everything and to me, the more I drank, the more reasonable it seemed to eat everything and the kitchen sink.
Fast forward to January 2nd- after spending my first day of January shoveling bacon into my face and nearly overdosing on rosti potatoes it was time to begin.
I made myself a commitment to detox from all the crap I had been putting in my body, from all the wine I had drank, from all the unnecessary sugars I has savored and from the caffeine I had abused to keep myself awake after meals that would put a sane woman into a coma.
So here was the plan *this “plan” was not something I made up for myself- this is an actual detox fitness plan developed by a recognized fitness center so don’t try this at home unless you consult a trusted and recognized person who can guide you through the process*
No Gluten- no bread, pasta, wheat, barley, rye. You are allowed to eat portioned servings of rice and quinoa (have you had quinoa dear reader? If not, do. Not only is it a super-food but it is also a full complete protein and has a really unique and tasty texture- you can use it the way you would pasta or rice-yum)
No Dairy- no cow anything (cheese, yogurt, milk etc…). you are allowed to eat goat milk products, again, in moderation.
My boyfriend is lactose intolerant and I have been warned off dairy to help my migraines anyways so we have spent our cheese loving relationship discovering delicious sheep and goat alternatives like traditional goat cheese, goat brie and out most favorite, chevre noir. Most cheese are made in a goat form now so they are relatively easy to find at your local supermarket.
No sugar- This one was tricky, sugar, as we discovered, is in EVERYTHING. Did you know there was sugar in Soy Sauce? Tomato Sauce? Maple syrup even! It was really hard to avoid this guy but we planned to do it by making everything fresh so we could control what went into it and minimizing our use of condiments and we bought Tamari Soy Sauce- gluten free (I LOVE Soy Sauce and could not bear living without it)
No alcohol- after my month, no problem
No Caffeine- this was to be my biggest challenge. I have had a rampant coffee addiction since I was about 12 years old. Not only am I completely reliant on caffeine as a drug, but I also LOVE LOVE LOVE the taste and aroma of coffee- to me, when I am not feeling well, coffee is my chicken soup (sans matzah ball, obviously).
So, how did it go you wonder?
Here is the general breakdown of the 2 week challenge.
Week one was spent fighting with my boyfriend, being perpetually hungry every minute of every day, existing with a permanent headache and thinking that I had the flu.
Week two was the complete reverse. I felt amazing, awake, energized and healthy. I woke up feeling refreshed and full of gusto. I avoided the crash and worked steadily and happily late every single day. I felt satisfied and full after every meal and instead of bickering because I was a cranky bitch- I spent more time with my boyfriend making food together and enjoying it at the table and not in front of the TV. (as a ps. He did the detox too and his experience was basically the same as mine)
It is now week 4 since starting the 2 week detox and while I admit to having a glass of Malbec over the weekend and a slice of pizza, my routine has not changed much from the detox. My eating habits have really stuck and I love it! My boyfriend and I have the best time cooking/ eating and I am still caffeine free less my morning green tea.
People often ask what we ate/ what we continue to eat and I have to say, without maneing to be preachy that your options are wonderful and endless. You can really eat So many delicious foods and the key to the longevity of this program is to allow yourself times to indulge in things like pizza and wine if you want them but to spend the majority of your eating time eating well. Everything we eat is fresh, healthy and full of vitamins and promotes a healthy lifestyle and digestive system.
So for breakfast, for example we eat either eggs and this AMAZING peameal bacon- (please remind me to post the package- it is fat free and 35 calories per slice and its real, unmodified bacon!!!) or goats yogurt/kefir and berries. After the strict 2 weeks we also incorporated steel cut oats with sugar free fruit spread and almond butter mixed in- that is a really good one if you want to feel really full and warm on a long winter day. Steel cut oats is not technically allowed as it does contain gluten but it is also considered ok because it contains a different and lesser type of gluten than wheat.
For lunch we usually bring salad and a protein like tofu, tuna or chicken.
Dinner is a protein and tons of veggies. For example, one night we make chicken meatballs stuffed with goat cheese and brussel sprouts with roasted potatoes. Delish right?
Point: I effing loved my detox. It was such a great experience that I was truly initially dreading. I think it is a great way to force yourself to thin hard about the foods you eat and make smart decisions. I am a MEGA foodie and would never put myself on a “diet” that was restrictive- I would never make it but certainly, adopting a healthier and fresher everyday diet is only going to benefit me in the long run and probably make me feel far less guilty during my next holiday binge.
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