Have you been looking for a place where you can pick up 500 germs per square foot on every part of your body while witnessing the declination of mankind? Look no further because the Science Center is here to make it happen!!
So my boyfriend and I thought that it might be nice and wholesome to take a drive to the Don Mills and Eg area and check out what was a staple in both of our childhoods.
Bad idea.
In the true "cut down all the trees and put them in a tree museum and charge the people a dollar and a half to see them" the Science Center proceeded to charge us 8 dollars to park in a completely full parking lot (and caused me to have a mini panic attack for the safety and well being of the car that we ended up parking in a driveway).
Now I can't be mad at a line up, it is not really anyones fault that the whole city of Toronto and their children had the same ingenious idea that day but holy hell was it busy. In fact, the line up was so big that we contemplated leaving immediately except that my sly and sexy boyfriend found a secret short line where the wait was far more doable. 36 dollars for both of us to learn about science. 36 dollars, seriously. I guess poor people are not welcome to discover the wonders of outer space.
Now, again, the place was super super busy so crowds and line ups were to be expected and we were adequately prepared however what we were not prepared for was to see humanity at its worst.
I have one thing to say to the people who visited the Science Center on Wednesday December 30th 2009. Manage your horrible children.
I understand that you may think that because I am a grown up your kids have the right to shove me aside and visit every exhibit before me. Perhaps you think that as an adult I don't deserve to see microscope slides of red and white blood cells.
Perhaps you find it endearing to watch your children run a muck and harass every person in their paths.... it isn't.
And to you parents who were almost as horrific to watch as your children, a double curse to you. I literally was witness to an elderly Chinese man who first let his rude ass kid bud me in line then physically shoved me out of line so he too could bud.
This is why there are shitty adults in abundance. This is the true findings at the Science Center- you can witness first hand how asshole adults are made.
So if we can perhaps ignore that facet of the trip (although we actually couldn't and ended up leaving early with a refund), you should also be aware of the plethora of germs that circulate throughout this facility. Everything you touch feels like germs - and I say this not as the crazy hypochondriac that I am but as a real person, things felt soggy, moist, and any other disgusting word you can think of to describe the feel of something that has been sweat on by many. Purel is not enough- come with gloves.
(and as a side-note to these crappy parents keep your imp kid's faces off everything, no need to lick the picture of the stars now is there?)
Finally, Science Center should be a place for the promotion of health, understanding your body blah blah blah...they literally have a health and body section and currently feature "Bodyworks" an understanding of how your body works and body health and yet, in each and every single cafeteria the only "health food" they provide is pre-made, boxed sushi, as if any kid is going to opt for some kappa maki. French Fries, burgers and chicken fingers are not foods that promote a healthy body and it seems almost hypocritical to encourage good body health and then serve greasy spoon crap. Just saying.
Point: may this humble writer suggest you head to the ROM or to the AGO (free on Wed nights and never too busy- you can also do a really cool tour of the old art gallery) I visited the ROM during the dead sea scroll exhibit and it was just as busy but far more refined and because it is enormous your are likely to find a section that is not overrun. Also, even though there was huge dead sea scroll line up it was never too cramped, people were extremely polite and good about sharing the exhibit space and for the most part very respectful... go figure.
Also, the Science Center should bring back the food section because this plantain seriously missed that Chinese rice miniature village.