Fear

While admittedly irrational, I have a very distinct and prevailing  fear; mouths that are not attached to a face/head. Seriously,I have had an inordinate amount of dreams wherein either a giant mouth with juicy red lips repeats the word "stress" over and over in a voice that gets louder and louder (now before you jump to the assumption that stress has anything to do with this equation let me explain briefly that the word stress being repeated is from an exhibit I saw as a child wherein the machine would repeat the word stress and show you on a monitor the words dress or tress or rest and as the machine repeated “stress” over and over, depending what word was on the screen you would begin to hear that word instead…just a demonstration about the subjectivity of the mind... and also I am super stressed).

 In the same breath I also find the Dairy Queen commercial and the opening scene of Rocky Horror Picture Show terrifying because they have that disassociated mouth just talk talk talking away.

Now let me ask you this, why would anyone think that a successful ad campaign involve a mouth with no body or head, I mean, with no head there is no brain and with no brain how is this mouth able to process how delicious the hot eats and cool treats are? And moreover who made the random mouth an ice cream guru? Why should I, of relative mental sanity listen to a mouth and let a mouth tell me what to do? Just for their stupid and terrifying ads I refuse to eat Blizzards and suffer with McDonald’s very mediocre McFlurry to make my point.

I have also seen this mouth lurking in Virgin Mobile ads. Virgin Mobile, a company whose ads I usually enjoy went ahead and employed this obviously very persuasive mouth to promote cell phones. I am not buying anything from a mouth people. That’s like listening to a nose tell you what to do. Are we living in crazy land??

Point: This writer begs and pleads with anyone who thinks that this mystery mouth is a good idea to walk away. I have had these nightmares for like, 20 something years and I am ready to put this kind of horror behind me. Won’t you please lend a hand? (not a mouth)