December is here.

With a mere 27 days until the new year I am buzzing with the vibes of 2013 to come. I am a follower of horoscopes which, I agree are totally wonk, but like ghosts, just in case they are real, I feel like it is worth being semi-open to.

And I am not talking about that crap they publish daily in the newspapers that tell you the same thing every day- I follow Susan Miller, Astrologist extraordinaire and honestly, she is good. Again, it is hard to say I truly believe in this kind of crap, but all I can tell you is that the month that my husband proposed to me, she predicted it (notwithstanding that she has never predicted anything else right ever).

So every first of the month, I eagerly scour the internet, bypassing ads for losing belly fat and gaining sex confidence with Viagra and get to the Aries page for the month’s predictions. True or false, I am never disappointed by the lengthy breakdown of my weeks and how they correspond to the cycles of the sun moon and good ol’ Jupiter. Are we in retrograde? Sometimes. And the planets are always colliding, obviously so life is just full of predicted adventures no matter the month or the year.

So December is likely to be no exception as coming up we have a family vacation and New Years to look forward to amid office parties, holiday parties, birthday parties and all that go with them. And (fingers crossed) minus taking my car in only to discover that EVERYTHING is wrong with it and it needed extensive repairs (aka. Bye bye to all my money), so far, it is great.

So last week marked official December/ Christmas time for me with the One of a Kind show. And dang do I love a good crafty convention. Hundreds of people in a room showcasing and admiring hand made goods is a little slice of plantain heaven so no wonder I made it there twice last week.

If you have not had the distinct pleasure of attending, let me fill you in on what you are missing with my Top 5 best and worst places to visit in the show.

Top 5 Best:
1. That mother-f-ing Cranberry pudding with warm vanilla butter sauce booth. This is, hands down, the wickedest bread pudding cake in the world and the fact that they fill a cup with it and liberally pour the butter sauce over it allowing you to guzzle pure, wonderful fat as you digest your pudding cup is just about the most delicious thing of ever. And that the pudding itself is vegan? Well that totally compensates for the butter overload right?

2. Tickleberrys booth. I swear, not ever booth I love is food, but these little chocolates are so damn good I would be remiss not to include them. The coat dried fruit in pure chocolate and then you buy little bags of them and shovel them into your face. But while the chocolate is their star, my personal favorite thing ever is their dried apple cubes which have been coated in cinnamon, look sort of like potpourri and taste like sex in apple form.

3. Olive booth. Not food again! No, this is a company that makes the best Olive Oil soaps, detergents, room sprays, bath salts and all that other crap that I freak out for. The Spa Blend, Lavender and ginger lemongrass are all totes amazeballs and they have baby and men stuff too. If they had patchouli blends, I would move in.

4. The booth where I bought my pillows. Crap. I wish I could remember the name of this one- she makes such awesome pillows. The designer, who hails from BC makes the décor items of my wet dreams and combining plaid, bay blankets and antlers creates a truly “canadiana” accent piece that I love and bought 2 of and would have liked to have bought 3 more except my husband- who, in the line of crafts is far more rational than I - forbid it.

5. The kid costume booth. Don’t care that I am 30, I will never be too old to play at this booth. Much to my mother’s horror each year I run like a maniac towards the glittery tiaras, tutus, hairbands and wands all over this booth. When I have a child and if it is a girl, she will only go out in Disney princess costumes always. I will dress up too but I will tell everyone that she made me do it (but I will be the one forcing extra glitter and more layers of ruffles).


Frankly, most booths are awesome- the new, the old, the uber crafty and the crap- there is so much talent in one room it is staggering. And of course, there is something for everyone- like, actually. If you cant find something you like, you are weird


But then there are the ones...
The Top 5 Worst (I hesitate to say worst because I admire anyone who takes up and succeeds with a craft- but I for real cannot imagine how these people stay in business)
1. Spider jewellery lady. Seriously, this lady is nuts and has been a part of the show for as long as I have been going which is at least 10 years now. She crafts jewellery and it will, for example, be an earring that then wraps around your ear, creeps over your shoulder, circles your whole head and winds up on the opposite shoulder as a spider. WHO is wearing this stuff? And there are always people in her booth trying stuff on- WHO ARE YOU!!!???? I can barely walk by her without bursting into hysterics at her totally weird creations- how can anyone take a woman with a gold spider on her shoulder seriously?

2. The wooden spoon instrument man. Remember when you were a kid and you would put 2 spoons together and beat them on your knee to make a sound (or maybe you don’t because you probably were not raised as a redneck, but in case you were). So there is a booth where that is all they sell. Wood spoons to make noise with. Really? Is there a huge market for that good ol’ spoon music??? No? That’s what I thought.

3. The Better than sex chocolate booth. Their tagline “better than sex”. Um, have these people ever had sex? And their chocolate sucks.

4. ANY booth that makes you ask them for samples or crackers to get samples with. Great, I am a fucking pig- thank you for making me tell you and no, I don’t want to try your dill dip (yes I do).

5. The “you will never get laid” pajamas booth. Pretty sure if you are wearing PJs to bed in the first place, they don’t really need to cover your neck to your toes. There is nothing crafty about these hideous PJs except how to get people to actually buy them.

Honestly, if you go for the spectacle alone, you wont be disappointed.

So now we wait, patiently for the lesser fun spring show.

But it is official folks, the holidays are upon us so time to whip out whatever lights you prefer, get your family and friends together and make some merriment (especially if you are the victim of the pajama booth this year- you really need some merriment).

XO,
Jane