Karma is a bitch, bitch.

So forgive me dear reader, as this post is yet another about my joyous rides on the subway whilst commuting to and from work.


To me, the subway has yet to loose its panache. I love being at one with the city and having absolutely no control over things like the subway randomly stopping at Summerhill Station for 20 minutes resulting in the scowling man at the door scowling harder. Does it bother me? Not in the slightest- my timing is in the TTC’s hands and there is nothing I can do about it. I relish in this- for now. Sure, one day I may learn to abhor being pressed up against my fellow passengers in a sweaty car of BO- but for now, it is AOK by me.


What does really get me irked about the subway is the total lack of humanity displayed by my fellow riders- this shouldn't be too surprising though I guess seeing as human stupidity outside the subway is really just as ridiculous- I guess the subway just concentrates the level of idiots into a smaller and more confined space.

Anyways, so yesterday I got to the subway a bit later than usual having had trouble logging off my computer. Getting to Bloor late is the absolute worst because people are total pigs and it seems that if I get there on my usual time I miss the hoards of these animals. Yesterday was not that case.


So, the good thing about the behavior on the busy platforms is that people make somewhat of a line so that we can all sort of file into the car once it unloads. In theory, this would be systematic and just perfect but of course for those of us who feel that they are more deserving of space on the next car out and cannot stand to wait the whole 2 more minutes should they miss the current car.


Enter blond bitch. Blond bitch is the woman with 3 big shopping bags full of crap, a giant wavy jacket and a large body size who is quietly maneuvering herself over to the front of the line. Without regard for the pseudo order to which we are all adhering to, she finagles her way over, closer and closer to the yellow line. Of course, she isn't in fact quiet as her huge self is hardly unnoticeable and I am watching her knock everyone around her with her carry-on.
Look, I’m not saying that if you shop or weigh an excess of 200 pounds that you shouldn’t be able to ride the rocket- all I am saying is that common human courtesy would suggest you don’t cram your fat ass in.


So, subways comes, she is obviously shoving her way in closer before those on the train have gotten off. Enter seriously old Chinese woman who has been patiently waiting at the yellow line.  She doesn’t carry a cane but walks as thought she should and is so shriveled and small that she would be swallowed alive by that blond bitch. I stand back and watch- somewhat in horror, but mostly not surprised, as blond bitch hip checks the old lady and shoves herself into the closing doors.
I have to laugh as I watch the doors close on her shopping bag trapping it in the doors. I silently pray that that bag is carrying eggs or tomatoes.


Gone is that blond bitch of a woman, left on the platform, looking defeated is the old lady. I think to myself that her bags being trapped in the subway door is hardly “revenge” enough on the blond bitch for being such a blond bitch.

Thankfully, when all seems lost and the plight of humanity seems lackluster at best- in comes pretty girl in purple coat to save the day. In her pretty purple coat, she managed to not only make way for, but escort the small old lady onto the next car as most around her stood back to let her through.
We need more purple coats, less whore bag bitches and really, if I can be so bold as to go there- better TTC cars.

Second to hating people in condensed areas I also wish that once you were on the car you could hold onto something and not smash into the bald man behind you playing World of Warcraft on his ipad. Dear TTC- regarding your handles...... just saying.