Jane Eats- The trendiest diet around

Happy Friday readers!

If you have been following me for the last while you know I am something of a yo-yo dieter. It is true that I spend an inordinate amount fo time reading on and trying out fad diets. I cant help myself! I keep thinking that if I remove gluten/cut out dairy/ never again look at refined sugar or just eat soup for a week, I will solve the mystery of being a supermodel.

My gorgeous and wonderful trainer slapped some sense into me the other day during a dinner where I was regaling her with my most recent attempt at the 4 hour body diet. I can say this for sure. 2 weeks, no fruit and all those beans made me somewhat unpleasant to be around. Plus, much like I guessed, my husband (who did the diet with me) lost about what seemed like at least 10 pounds in those 2 weeks while I seemed to gain weight!

Her valid response to my complaint was to try a brand new revolutionary food movement. STOP DIETING.

Being “gluten free” unless you are celiac is not necessary nor is being “dairy free” if you are not lactose intolerant. In face, the elimination of anything from your diet just messes around with your system and since there is no one tried and true diet that all scientists and nutritionists can agree on, it probably means that there is no one way for you to achieve the weight and health results you want with a turn-key solution.

With that ladies and gents, I put forward for your consideration, a diet of not dieting. It is called “eating a healthy balanced diet of good shit” and I think you will find that it is 100 percent successful in making you feel great!

Here are your parameters.

1. Eat healthy things- this means try to eat local, non processed crap. No one can agree on a diet that is the be-all for dieting but everyone can agree that ingesting chemicals is just gross. Brown rice breaks down better than white so if you have the choice, whole grain is less processed and more filling, and fruits and veg as well as healthy fat are crucial to your body.
2. Cut out gluten if you have an intolerance otherwise, don’t. Gluten free is not a diet, it is a food allergy and gluten free food is not healthier, it is just different. Same goes for any fad allergy related food things.
3. Be reasonable and honest with yourself. If you eat ice cream every day, you will gain weight. If you don’t care, eat ice cream, if you do, limit yourself.
4. Pick and choose your indulgences wisely so you maximize your enjoyment.
   

That was pretty much it.

Here are the inherent benefits to eating well.

First of all, your body is super smart and if you choose to listen closely, it will tell you exactly what it needs and wants to fuel you so likely, you will be eating everything you need to be eating.

There is no deprivation, no cheat days and no guilt. If you want something badly, you can have it. Your metabolism will pick up because it is getting what it needs and you will find yourself hungrier more often thus eating more often thus satatied more often. Its pretty sweet.

You will never again be that annoying person who is all like, “oh, can I have that in gluten free” even though everyone around you knows that you are not Celiac or the person being like “can you please make my eggs with PAM”- why would you even go out for eggs if you are cooking them in mother f-ing PAM?? Make that shit at home. Again, your body tells you what is good and what isn't so if milk makes you bloat stay away from milk or drink it if it feels good. You know, all hippy like.

And finally, one day in the future when you realize that you need to eat a balanced diet your body wont FREAK OUT at you for re-introducing carbs etc. your body will thank you and smile.

I’m going on the 100 year challenge of eating healthy good stuff and working out less but making the time I spend more effective and better. I plan to use my free time to have a life and stop obsessing about food and diet. Anyone else care to join me?

Xo,
Jane

Yum Tum in my Tum

So this morning I realized that it is October this week. Dear time, please slow down- I am so incredibly overwhelmed in the best way possible by the constant passing of minutes, days weeks, months...eeeeeeeeeeee.

So people, what you should be doing today is getting your grubby hands on a ticket to the Toronto Underground Food Festival- because I went on Saturday night and had Super.Food.Orgasm.

Here’s the lowdown, This past Saturday was the first of hopefully many events to come. You pay 5 bucks at the door (but you MUST pre-order tickets as they sell out fast) and then are treated to a bevy of booths boasting foods that will blow your mind. The foods themselves are about 2-5 dollars per plate and there were 4 custom craft breweries and 1 Vineyard represented- I can only imagine the roster will grow with the event itself.

The event is at the Brickworks- Holy crap have I rekindled my love for that spot- the other weekend I did that mega hike over to it and wandered around it a bit and then got to be there Saturday night. It is a seriously cool venue- there are so many relics and preserved areas of the grounds.

Anyways- let’s get to the food because you should all know what I ate.

So, we began with a trio of vegetarian rice- one was a spicy eggplant, one was a lemon lime rice and one was a coriander rice. To say this was the highlight of the night would be untrue but it was ok- maybe took a spot that pork could have filled but cest la vie.
Next we got into an inordinately long line for what promised to be grilled cheese. When we finally got to the counter, it turned out that you could get some kind of sandwich, a tamale and a ticket for a grilled cheese which you had to stand in another long line for. We got all 3 and took our food to the next line to wait and eat.
Sandwich- pulled meat with coleslaw on a Portuguese pastry bun. This was fucking good.

Tamale- made with chocolate- tasted like Chalva. Don’t know what Chalva is? Consider yourself lucky.

In the middle of our line we ran into friends who were also at the event and they were kind enough to bring us Chorizo tacos in line. Hel-a-good.

The Grilled cheese was a Cornbread grilled cheese with ample cheddar smothered in guac, sour cream and cilantro- this dish received mixed reviews among my friends- some of whom really didn’t enjoy- I thought it was amazeballs.the sweet bread with the tangy cheese and the toppings- a full mouth experience.

Next up was the dumplings. Like a dim sum esque dumpling stuffed with bacon and an egg- American fusion maybe- dare I make that assertion?

I know this is going to sound stupid but the yolk was like heaven- I think cooking an egg is an art form- to make the yolk of perfect consistency is a big deal- too runny is gross, too cooked missed the mark but a perfect egg is like yellow delish. This yolk had some texture but also ran into your mouth and contrasted with the bacon (um, always there should be bacon in shit) and the fried dumpling- So good.

THEN, we had a pork belly sandwich called the Auld Spot- pork anything is fine by me any time, any day.

At that point, despite encouraging from my co-eater, I had to tap out- I literally looked pregnant and my belly was a firm solid. But, by that time there were no lines and the venue had cleared substantially- although some fares were sold out at this point, we both noted that if we came again (which I would have loved to in 2011 but alas the next 2 dates- October 22 and November 19th are already occupied for me)we would come later.

So run, don’t walk tot he following website http://yumtum.ca/ and get your tickets before they sell out- your tastebuds will thank you- for reals.

Sorry about your penis.

So, is it just me or is anyone else totally put off by the fact that today is September 20th????
- I don't think I am ok with that. Dear Time, Please slow down- yours Truly, me.

I have offish busted out the boots, the hats, even the decorative scarves and packed away all my summer gear (although, not too far as I will need it for my month long vaca- what what).

Anyways- point I am getting at is that fall is here. Just in case you are seasonally challenged.

So donned in full jacket, boots and warm accessories, I spent a most wonderful long weekend on the town.
Thursday night one of my oldest friends got married so my fiance and I took Friday off both so that we could enjoy the night and so we could tackle a bunch of wedding stuff that needed to get done.

So, one thing we needed was our marriage license so we had to head tot he most romantic place in the universe- the government offices. There we were greeted with a waiting room full of people either signing up for a wedding or to change their birth certificate- the ultimate setting for romance.

Some lady decked out as a clown- at least, i think she was trying to look like a clown...possible that she just actually looked like that- unfortunate, but possible.... anyways- some lady got all our stuff together and just like that we have a license to wed- it is a pretty crazy idea if you think about it- if we had but 3 other signatures on that paper, we would be husband and wife- it is merely pen ink separating us from matrimony...

Anyways, after our ultra romantical jaunt we had an appetite (for love- just kidding) so we meandered over to the Eaton Center to check out the much anticipated new food court.

So here's the deal. It's a food court, but a mega awesome one. Some highlights in food include, Big House Smoke Burger, Liberty Noodle (nomnomnom), Urban Herbivoire, Amaya and Aroma. There were so many nice healthy options.

Too bad there were not so many nice healthy people to go with it. Zoom in on the McDonalds lineup as it swirls around the entire circumference of the room as if there isn't another McDonalds on the top floor of the mall and 2 blocks away respectively. I promise that the Big Macs taste the same on every floor.

Zoom in on the fatty bombatty sitting beside the salad bar stuffing her face with KFC. Really? KFC- a whole bucket to yourself? Would you like a side of bacon with that? Some lard dipping sauce?

Obviously I darted straight over to the Urban Herbivore (I realize how off this will sound but they have the best Tempeh). Here's the thing- I just don't believe that if you are lining up to eat at a vegan friendly salad bar, that you should be a total dick face. Again, the food court proved me wrong because I got yelled at by a grown man who claimed he was in front of me in line- I mean, sure, when you step in front of someone in their line you are technically in front of them, so he wasn't wrong per say- but he was also totally wrong.


So anyways, I can only say that Eaton Center is a total gong show. I don't dare set foot in there again soon for fear of sanity lost.

So I was going to post a whole other blog, but while I am on the topic of douchebag men, please let me fast forward to Sunday. Sunday was spent hiking down to the Brickworks with one of my very best friends. Me and her love going for walks together in our neighbourhood as we always seem to have several hours of things to discuss so suggesting this hike seemed like a great idea- it was. This is a seriously nice hike- highly recommended.

Anyways- to get there, and back, you can go through my most favorite of waling paths, the Mount Pleasant Cemetery. `So we are in the cemetery and whilst it is a walking path enjoyed by many, and whilst there were an abundance of loud children on bikes anyways, I tend to try and keep my voice low as to be somewhat considerate of the sanctity of the dead.

So the Cemetery is comprised of roads that you can walk down and although they are true roads with 2 lanes I don't know that the "rules of the road" really apply- so when we found ourselves walking on the wrong side with a bicyclist about 2 minutes away, we figured that, like a normal person, he would just go right around us since the whole rest of the road was void of cars.

But no. Alas he instead chose to verbally harass us as he flew by almost nailing us right onto the lawn- and not to worry stupid dick, not like that lawn is sacred or anything- who shouldn't have to jump on the burial site of Sir Thomas to avoid you?

I watched this South Park episode recently that was about the correlation of small penises to anger. All I can conclude with is that this guy and the food court guy were mighty angry. Just Saying.

I think about food all day and all night

Do you?


Please check out- http://janeplantaineats.tumblr.com/
Not as wordy as this blog- just pictures and taglines for the food I eat and love