JOMO

Like any attendee late to a party I have 2 options. I can sneak in seeking to blend with the group or I can be bold and make an entrance denouncing the norms of being on time or even, dare I say, early to the soirée.

Well, if you have never read me before and especially if you have, I am not one to be a wallflower so with that I bring to you my resolution post for 2014.

Sure, New Year’s eve was a week ago and sure, we are WAY bored with the notion of the resolution at this point- but over my breakfast this morning my husband brought up the best acronym I could imagine and for the first time in months, I was inspired to write.

JOMO- Joy of Missing Out (and opposite of FOMO- Fear of Missing Out).

JOMO, how brilliant you are to come along right at the exact time when social media has been top of mind and conversation.

It began for me, on New Year’s day when, sitting in my living room with some friends in our pyjamas, one of the group announced they had deleted Facebook from their phone. She praised the time she had found from doing so as “liberating” and I was intrigued.

As a 30 something year old, Facebook has long lost its fun and whimsical ness and become a place I go and hate.  The odd wedding, an occasional vacation, and babies have replaced the albums we coveted years ago portraying epic nights and drunken shenanigans splashed over our pages.

I would lie if I said I don’t creep pictures of an old friend with her new baby or a former colleague at her recent wedding. But do I really care? Are these tidbits of information enough to really take me away from the life I live into this alternate universe where this shit matters?

The answer is clearly, NO.

So I went to delete my Facebook mobile app too and found that it took me 2 tries before I had the courage to delete it. Why?

FOMO.

I actually fear missing out on the shit that I know I will absolutely not miss out on. The engagement of some old acquaintance that I would not even say hi to on the street if I saw them in real life, the co-worker who I kind of hated when we actually worked together 5 years ago at the zoo with her snotty kid, the birth announcements complete with hospital pictures that violate my sense of privacy?? WHAT was I going to miss?

The truth was that I would miss nothing.

My FOMO was causing me to see a very different world than the actual one I was living in. instead of looking around me and taking in my surroundings on my commute to work, I was nose deep checking out the latest updates and FOMO got me good because by making me fear missing out, I actually missed out on something more valuable, my time.

I would rate my time as more important than what you ate last night for snack, as far more significant than the fact that you took a selfie in bed, #nofilter, and certainly more important than your thoughts on last night’s Golden Globes.

Professionally, I work in media so it is not possible to avoid social media nor is it right to ignore the many benefits of it when used with discretion and thought. It can help network, share stories and connect ideas. This past weekend I was at an accessory fashion show and the designer found the person that created the wardrobe for the models donning the jewellery on Instagram. There is value there that cannot be ignored.

But JOMO doesn’t have to mean that you turn into a hermit and disassemble your modem. 

JOMO means less liking of statuses and more compliments payed directly to friends, less creeping strangers and more taking the time to interact with them, and less thought on this contrived person that exists only online and more time spent enriching the real you.

By giving yourself some space from social media, you are effectively giving yourself some space to think and grow. You may actually like what you find and feel more inclined to stop and smell the roses.

But if you find that the “real” world and your “real” life are not as good or stimulating as your Facebook one, than you deserve another selfie, my friend. Make sure to pick the right filter.

Wishing you all the JOMO in the wold,

XO

J