YOLO

In an effort to support my “new year resolution” I woke up Sunday with a whiskey hangover and dragged my ass to yoga.
No, my resolution was not to work out more or to lose weight or get back in to yoga. It was, plain and simple, to spend more time for me.

One of the manageable things that plagued my 2012 was an overwhelming amount of time spent doing stuff that I didn’t want to. Obligatory crap that no one wants to do aside, I felt that a lot of my time was being taken up with plans I didn’t want to have, activities I didn’t want to do and obligations I wished I hadn't made. By the end of the year my weeks were so heavily scheduled that I knew not only what I was doing on the Wednesday approaching but the next 4 Wednesdays to come.

While I, and most people thrive on routine, stability and planning, this over-planned and overstretched kind of life was crappy. Who wants to be busy planning a month in advance? And, by planning so far in advance, I ended up spending a lot of time doing things that, when the time finally came, I didn’t want to do.

How can I say that I want to see a movie 3 Thursdays from now? I don’t even know if I would want to see a movie tonight!

Spending more time for me also means having the capacity to enjoy my time. Throwing stuff into a calendar for a month in advance effectively eliminates my ability to live in the moment. It is hard to enjoy the weekend to come when I am busy worrying about the first weekend of February.

And moreover, I don’t want to be an over planner. I pride myself on being pretty relaxed (for a total crazy person) and the more tightly wound I get, the worse my chances are of being a relaxed parent, lover, friend and peer as time goes on.

So with that and bearing in mind that some situations do not fall into this encompassing resolution (ie. Making dinner plans with my oldest and best friends who live all over the city and have their own million obligations to work and families of their own- yes, whenever date we pick, I’m happy to see you- these are not the kinds of plans I will resent when they come up) I decided to quit planning and start living.

So, when I awoke Sunday morning with a need to be active, I went. I was a bit groggy, nervous to try a new studio after such a long hiatus from my practice, and lazy but it was genuinely what I wanted to do, so I did it.

It was a great call.

First of all, this studio is, timed, 6 minutes from my house when speed walking. It is cozy and clean and the reception desk knew each of the names of the patrons including myself by the time I left. They are environmentally conscious (they rent out mason jars for water unlike my last studio that had plastic water bottles) and the air smelled good despite it being a small studio which practices only hot yoga.

I have only ever once been to a Moksha studio and I did a regular class (not hot) so I was a bit nervy about taking this class- I am used to infra-red heat for hot yoga and had visions of passing out or hyperventilating because of the sauna like steam heat. I successfully remained upright, steady breathing and conscious for the 75 minute class which was, in a word, awesome.

I felt sweaty and rejuvenated and had a great day and a subsequent great night sleep.

The best part, and the part that gave me that fuzzy feeling of a “meant to be” moment was when the teacher introduced herself and the class and gave the pep talk/ inspirational motivation message to begin the class. She said, “there are many reasons you may be here today- for a workout, to relieve your stress or just to take some time to do something special for yourself whatever it is, embrace this and thank yourself for allowing yourself to take the time.”

Well hell to the yes on that. She nailed it in the head and made me feel really gratified about my decision to take time for myself and come. The funny thing about doing what you want is that we have this innate sense of feeling selfish- like we should do less for our own happiness and more for others. We also tend to all be gratification seekers and therefore get a lot more “thank yous” from doing stuff for other people. When was the last time you thanked yourself for having a healthy meal or finishing a chore you meant to get done?

There is a huge difference between being a selfish person and a person who takes care of themselves and makes their happiness a top priority- I think that this distinction gets blurred because people are just so crazy but it has been really helpful to me to try and make those distinctions in my activities. It is never selfish to do things to help make yourself a happier person- you will only radiate that happiness in every other aspect of your life as a result.

And, we should all try and thank ourselves a little more for the mundane things. If you cleaned someone else's room, made their bed, washed their dishes or mopped their floors, you would expect and deserve a “thank you”. If you made time for someone else to have a wonderful hour to themselves to work out or do an activity, if you bought someone else a little gift or treated them to a yummy lunch, they would thank you- think about that next time you do these things for yourself and give yourself a hug.

We are all way to hard on ourselves and everyone needs a little love.

So, yes, the combination of having gone back to yoga since (and I even got my hubs to come too, and he really liked it) and reading a book about happiness and the quest towards it has made me a little preachy, a little idealistic and a little sappy but I think 2013 should be the year for you and me.

YOLO- right people?? (omg I fucking hate YOLO)

XO
Jane