If I can make it there

It’s been a while folks- a long while so get ready for a mini series of blogs beginning with last weekend.

Spent the past weekend in NYC- it was my bday present from my wonderful husband- love that man.
We had the best time ever. Our best friends moved to New York last year so we had a great crew to explore (eat) the city with. I have to say, I am a sucker for NY. I love the kitchy lure of the big lights bright city but this time around, being there, I couldn’t help but notice how sad it is to not be surrounded by nature. 

I look out my window, right now, I am downtown and have a view of forestry and greenery. I don’t think I have ever stopped to look at that before while in New York (maybe because I have never spent so much time in NYC NOT shopping)- anyways, it struck me as notable. Espesh when we walked by schools that have no playground and only a cement fenced off block for kids to play in- what kind of magical forest imagination games come from cement? Although I am criticizing a highly creative community of people, so there you go, maybe cement DOES foster wild imagination- what do I know?

I saw Brooklyn for the first time on this trip and fell in love- this is totes where I would live if I was living there. Brooklyn is like where Ossington would go to look for a hot guy with a moustache.

And of course, I wouldn’t have been complete without one outrageously amazing meal courtesy of the Stanton Social- 

ps. Always have though chef Chris Santos was super hot on Chopped, love when he hates the al dente-ness of pasta- LOVE IT.
 
 This meal was be-yond. We ate; lamb kebabs, carpacio, perogies, pasta, these friggin amazing French onion soup dumplings, meatballs, fish tacos...om nom nom- and they had the best mixed drinks ever of life. My tastebuds danced and sang all the way through former alphabet city.

We went to Grand Central Station in the middle of the night, went to a bonafide basement nightclub where I got asked about 5 times if I had drugs (do I look like  have drugs? I don’t), the late night deli, walked EVERYWHERE- seriously, I was limping for a good couple of hours, on the first day we did 8 hours straight....we went to the park, to the stores, to Mario Batali’s Eataly where I food-gasmed over the available offerings. It was magic.

So, overall, had a lot of fun and only made my husband slightly nuts trying to find the stores I needed to go to. Dear Frye, why are you so much cheaper in USA? I actually had to hold myself back from buying 2 pairs of the same boot in different colors and sleeping with both of them cuddled in my arms. I love you my new boots (only in black- first world problems). 

Then I dragged him to Uniqlo. Ever been? My coworkers had been talking about it for quite sometime and I felt compelled to have a peek. Welcome to American Apparel meets Urban Outfitters meets Gap on crack. 3 floors of unnerving space. They had a whole store size room only for socks- just socks... Do you know how scary a wall of thousands of socks can be? And they play all this music and have screens with weird anime and a dude on a microphone and flashing lights. If you have never had a seizure and are interested in what one might feel like, I urge you to pop in.

We spent the last day and night at our friend’s place in Washington heights- which is, surprisingly, a REALLY cool area. There they actually do have green space, a beautiful park with Cloisters and a super cute “Main street” which you have to climb about 4 bazillion stairs to get to so essentially, if you live there, you are cool with a wicked ass.

And, did I mention before that my husband had bought us Yankee tickets? I was totes not excited to go see a baseball game- um, hello, taking up my valuable shopping time- but it was actually really fun. We had amazing seats and people are so excitable at American sports games. The crowd was mental and when one patron dared to wear the opposing teams jersey, he was met with our whole section standing up and calling him an asshole. Even the little kid in front of us were doing it. They love them some sports. If my kid knows the word asshole before age 8 I am concerned for the state of my world but hey, differences make the world go round.

The weekend could not have gotten better, so it was only natural that it would end worse. From the moment we packed up our bags and hopped into a cab headed to JFK airport, things went downhill. Sure, leaving your vacation always sucks right? Like, who heads to the airport excited? Maybe I guess if you have a terrible holiday, but no one who has an enjoyable one looks forward to it being over- so it sucked and there was really bad traffic which, coupled with the hot air, my 3 days-worth of drinking hangover and overall exhaustion from another day spent wandering around with bellies full of dirty dim sum. Fab.

Anyways, lots of traffic and then, the icing (if indeed icing was not sweet and delicious and instead was awful and poop-like) was Delta. Delta, I haven't forgotten how you scarred me in the 90’s with that stupid documentary of your terrible crash in 85 that left people with horrible burns and scars which they graphically portrayed on TV. Should I have obeyed my parents and not snuck the TV on after hours thus subjecting myself to such a terrible R rated program? Maybe- but Delta, I never forget. 

And now Delta,  I wont forgive either. There is no “I’m sorry” for sticking us in the biggest bullshit line to wait only to check in our carry on bags (which, I may add, where perfectly acceptable sizes for Porter air who also would not have charged us 25 dollars per luggage if we CHOSE to check them). No apology can quite make up for watching our bags aimlessly thrown onto a broken conveyor belt with such force, I feared for the survival of my toothbrush. 

And what can you say about your rude ass customer service lady who stood directing the traffic in your terminal who was so incredibly stupid and unhelpful that you may as well have instated a cow to direct your customer. A cow, Delta, would have been more effective. Have you ever seen a cow give direction or provide even adequate customer service? Probs not- so why waste your money on a person who acts like one? How do you get paid for being a total asshole?? If I had know this was a life option....

Peeps, did you know also that you don’t have to subscribe to any basic hygiene in order to operate an airline? Who knew!
The bathrooms were the grossest I have ever seen (and my last trip was to Thailand where I saw bathrooms that were holes in the ground), the floors looked like they had not seen a vacuum since disco was cool and the walls, which, how do you even stain a wall??? Were, stained...

The flight- gross, my seat- sticky, the service- rude. It was a blast. Just a totally blast Delta. I cannot wait to fly with you again soon! That is a lie. You are the worst. Ever. Don’t care how much cheaper you are next time I book my flight- I learned my lesson well and I hate you Delta- no forgiveness, no forgetting.

Finally, we got pulled over by customs who thought my purse and wedding ring were smuggled contraband jewellery and accessories. Fine. At this point there was nothing to do but laugh (cry) at the circumstance.

Anyways, got home, safe and sound and now it has been over a week since I was away and I already feel like I was never gone, never relaxed and all I can think about is the next vacation. In the meantime.....memories of NY.