My husband’s thing about eating out is the service. He is a huge proponent of good service musing that if he is bothering to leave the house (when, to be honest, he can cook better than most restaurants do) he wants to be treated well. This doesn’t mean being catered to like you are a baller at North 44 but more just like, friendly, nice and attentive people. He hates lines and the “we are too cool for reservations” policy and despises pretension in dining.
I could care less. Be pretentious, make me wait just as long as when I sit down, the food is wicked and the server is polite. I am not hard to please when it comes to service.
Which is why I felt the need to voice my complaint about not one but 2 Toronto dining establishments that I encountered this past weekend. Now, I need to reiterate- I am so easy to please like, if you smile and bring me a water, that’s cool by me.
What isn't cool?
Saturday night I had reservations at the Drake hotel for dinner to celebrate my friend’s birthday. Made the reservations weeks prior and although I had not been there for dinner in 7 years (which I don’t remember fondly at all), I was looking forward to a fun night out with my girls. When they called me to confirm the reservation, they noted in the voicemail that we would have a 2 hour sitting and then we could move to the bar. When we arrived, the rude man host informed us that we would actually be “kicked out” in 1 hour and 20 minutes because they were without as much space as usual due to some water damage.
Ok, so first of all who tells patrons that they will be kicked out? Those were his words- not like, “sorry ladies, but we MAY have to ask you to move at 10 due to blah blah blah”. Not like, sorry for this total inconvenience- just a flat “you will be kicked out”.
Drake hotel, you suck so bad. How incredibly annoying and frustrating is that? Why wouldn’t you call us to tell us this before we arrived? What if we had come special from out of the city to have dinner at your establishment and further to that, what makes you think that someone needs our space at 10? We obviously left and headed elsewhere (to Delux on Ossington where the service was phenomenal and the food was even better thanks to our adorbs waiter and some wicked steak frites).
Not that they probably care much and not that I go out all that much anyways but you could literally not pay me to ever go to the Drake again. My bad memories from years ago there were solidified and this plantain gives you a super thumbs down. Oh, and the foyer smelled like mold and the rude host had food in his teeth and bad breath.
Onward.
So Sunday morning I went to meet my cousin and her bro’s GF for some brunch at Hogtown Vegan. She is vegan and I personally don’t mind eating vegan. I actually usually really like it and find it tasty. Case in point. My Ranchero breakfast was awesome! Sure, my tofu eggs were weird and there was about 4000 too many tasteless black beans on my plate- but since my expectations are usually not sky high, I was impressed. Then, the bill came. Then it was 15 minutes later and we were still sitting there as the waitress walked by looking at all of us holding our cards ready to pay and leave. Then it was 20 minutes later and we asked on of the other waitresses if perhaps we were meant to pay up at the counter to which she replied “no- you just sit here and wait until she has some time to come take your cards- we are not in any rush here so she will be around when she gets to it”. OR REALLY? Sorry my fair vegan but do you not like money? Don’t feel like getting paid?? The staff may not have been in a rush but a) we were and b) I hardly consider waiting for 20 minutes to pay a bill making her “rush” so thanks for the attitude missy.
We finally did go up to pay at the counter where the waitress told us (without making eye contact or smiling) that we could not pay separately- all of the money had to go on one card. Ok 1999. You can have your system back now. Who does that? Why can’t I put the desired amount on one card and share it with another?
The waitress literally rolled her eyes at us about 400 times and all I can deduce from this is that she was probably smelled that we were not all true vegans and got vegan mad on our asses. Otherwise, I don’t get it.
So dear you- it is pretty simple to just be a polite person and smile. My suggestion would be that if you cant muster that kind of normal human engagement, don’t go into customer service and save us all the eye rolls and headache.
Thanks,
J
Monday, July 29, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
Jane Rambles- Rants for Friday
I am a terrible sleeper. My sleep habits range from not being able to fall asleep, falling asleep early and then waking up a million times, not sleeping at all or sleeping and then being utterly unable to wake up in the morning.
I usually find that when I am anxious or excited, it is hard to "shut off" and just fall asleep but that one seems pretty normal to me. Falling asleep early and waking up a million times is both because I sleep so erratically and have to pee all the time. Not sleeping at all happens from time to time and it the abso-fucking-lutely worst thing ever and even though my husband thinks I am just super lazy, I find myself so tired some mornings that getting out of bed is the most arduous chore imaginable.
None of these things make me feel confident that I get the best out of my sleep.
Enter Sleep Cycle. Sleep Cycle is an app for... you guessed it, helping with sleep. It's "about me" section describes it as "using a wake up phase that ends at your desired alarm time... will monitor signals from your body to wake you up softly when you are in the lightest possible sleep state". It uses a sensitive accelerometer to determine your sleep state and then it tallies up your whole night and ranks how well you slept.
In terms of an alarm, it is actually pretty good. Maybe (likely) it is placebo effect but when I hear the gentle waves of my morning alarm, I usually am in fact ready to wake up. This is vastly different from my former alarm that would often literally shake me out of sleep. neither options stop me from using the snooze button but with Sleep Cycle, it allows you 10 minutes of snooze and then you have to physically turn it off or it wont shut up and while gentle waves are lovely, nonstop on and on, they are insanity provoking.
That is the upside to the alarm, since using it I have been up earlier and easier and feeling less like someone just hit me over the head with bells.
The downside is that first off, I have to sleep with my phone. I am sure that sleeping in bed with your phone is bad for you. There is the all the electronic waves and stuff like that that is probably not healthy for you long term and there is the notion that in order to decompress and shut down, you should not bring your cell phone into bed. It is true that since sleeping with it, our relationship has intensified and it is the last thing I do before bed and the first thing I do when I wake up. My husband is jealous.
The other downside to this app is that seriously, how is it watching me when I sleep? Like, how creepy is that? AND, it is doing the worst job ever because last night, for example, it gave my sleep an 83%. 83!!?? I literally took 2 hours to just fall asleep, peed twice in the night and spent from 5am until 6:30am being uncomfortable and wishing for the morning to come. I would give that sleep a 50%. Max.
Summation is that I don't think I get the Sleep Cycle as a sleep monitoring device. I feel like it is impossible to monitor me effectively when you are just an iphone/ I hope that it is impossible to monitor me effectively when you ate just an iphone- or the end is sooner than we think.
Sweet dreams,
J
I usually find that when I am anxious or excited, it is hard to "shut off" and just fall asleep but that one seems pretty normal to me. Falling asleep early and waking up a million times is both because I sleep so erratically and have to pee all the time. Not sleeping at all happens from time to time and it the abso-fucking-lutely worst thing ever and even though my husband thinks I am just super lazy, I find myself so tired some mornings that getting out of bed is the most arduous chore imaginable.
None of these things make me feel confident that I get the best out of my sleep.
Enter Sleep Cycle. Sleep Cycle is an app for... you guessed it, helping with sleep. It's "about me" section describes it as "using a wake up phase that ends at your desired alarm time... will monitor signals from your body to wake you up softly when you are in the lightest possible sleep state". It uses a sensitive accelerometer to determine your sleep state and then it tallies up your whole night and ranks how well you slept.
In terms of an alarm, it is actually pretty good. Maybe (likely) it is placebo effect but when I hear the gentle waves of my morning alarm, I usually am in fact ready to wake up. This is vastly different from my former alarm that would often literally shake me out of sleep. neither options stop me from using the snooze button but with Sleep Cycle, it allows you 10 minutes of snooze and then you have to physically turn it off or it wont shut up and while gentle waves are lovely, nonstop on and on, they are insanity provoking.
That is the upside to the alarm, since using it I have been up earlier and easier and feeling less like someone just hit me over the head with bells.
The downside is that first off, I have to sleep with my phone. I am sure that sleeping in bed with your phone is bad for you. There is the all the electronic waves and stuff like that that is probably not healthy for you long term and there is the notion that in order to decompress and shut down, you should not bring your cell phone into bed. It is true that since sleeping with it, our relationship has intensified and it is the last thing I do before bed and the first thing I do when I wake up. My husband is jealous.
The other downside to this app is that seriously, how is it watching me when I sleep? Like, how creepy is that? AND, it is doing the worst job ever because last night, for example, it gave my sleep an 83%. 83!!?? I literally took 2 hours to just fall asleep, peed twice in the night and spent from 5am until 6:30am being uncomfortable and wishing for the morning to come. I would give that sleep a 50%. Max.
Summation is that I don't think I get the Sleep Cycle as a sleep monitoring device. I feel like it is impossible to monitor me effectively when you are just an iphone/ I hope that it is impossible to monitor me effectively when you ate just an iphone- or the end is sooner than we think.
Sweet dreams,
J
Jane Eats- The trendiest diet around
Happy Friday readers!
If you have been following me for the last while you know I am something of a yo-yo dieter. It is true that I spend an inordinate amount fo time reading on and trying out fad diets. I cant help myself! I keep thinking that if I remove gluten/cut out dairy/ never again look at refined sugar or just eat soup for a week, I will solve the mystery of being a supermodel.
My gorgeous and wonderful trainer slapped some sense into me the other day during a dinner where I was regaling her with my most recent attempt at the 4 hour body diet. I can say this for sure. 2 weeks, no fruit and all those beans made me somewhat unpleasant to be around. Plus, much like I guessed, my husband (who did the diet with me) lost about what seemed like at least 10 pounds in those 2 weeks while I seemed to gain weight!
Her valid response to my complaint was to try a brand new revolutionary food movement. STOP DIETING.
Being “gluten free” unless you are celiac is not necessary nor is being “dairy free” if you are not lactose intolerant. In face, the elimination of anything from your diet just messes around with your system and since there is no one tried and true diet that all scientists and nutritionists can agree on, it probably means that there is no one way for you to achieve the weight and health results you want with a turn-key solution.
With that ladies and gents, I put forward for your consideration, a diet of not dieting. It is called “eating a healthy balanced diet of good shit” and I think you will find that it is 100 percent successful in making you feel great!
Here are your parameters.
That was pretty much it.
Here are the inherent benefits to eating well.
First of all, your body is super smart and if you choose to listen closely, it will tell you exactly what it needs and wants to fuel you so likely, you will be eating everything you need to be eating.
There is no deprivation, no cheat days and no guilt. If you want something badly, you can have it. Your metabolism will pick up because it is getting what it needs and you will find yourself hungrier more often thus eating more often thus satatied more often. Its pretty sweet.
You will never again be that annoying person who is all like, “oh, can I have that in gluten free” even though everyone around you knows that you are not Celiac or the person being like “can you please make my eggs with PAM”- why would you even go out for eggs if you are cooking them in mother f-ing PAM?? Make that shit at home. Again, your body tells you what is good and what isn't so if milk makes you bloat stay away from milk or drink it if it feels good. You know, all hippy like.
And finally, one day in the future when you realize that you need to eat a balanced diet your body wont FREAK OUT at you for re-introducing carbs etc. your body will thank you and smile.
I’m going on the 100 year challenge of eating healthy good stuff and working out less but making the time I spend more effective and better. I plan to use my free time to have a life and stop obsessing about food and diet. Anyone else care to join me?
Xo,
Jane
If you have been following me for the last while you know I am something of a yo-yo dieter. It is true that I spend an inordinate amount fo time reading on and trying out fad diets. I cant help myself! I keep thinking that if I remove gluten/cut out dairy/ never again look at refined sugar or just eat soup for a week, I will solve the mystery of being a supermodel.
My gorgeous and wonderful trainer slapped some sense into me the other day during a dinner where I was regaling her with my most recent attempt at the 4 hour body diet. I can say this for sure. 2 weeks, no fruit and all those beans made me somewhat unpleasant to be around. Plus, much like I guessed, my husband (who did the diet with me) lost about what seemed like at least 10 pounds in those 2 weeks while I seemed to gain weight!
Her valid response to my complaint was to try a brand new revolutionary food movement. STOP DIETING.
Being “gluten free” unless you are celiac is not necessary nor is being “dairy free” if you are not lactose intolerant. In face, the elimination of anything from your diet just messes around with your system and since there is no one tried and true diet that all scientists and nutritionists can agree on, it probably means that there is no one way for you to achieve the weight and health results you want with a turn-key solution.
With that ladies and gents, I put forward for your consideration, a diet of not dieting. It is called “eating a healthy balanced diet of good shit” and I think you will find that it is 100 percent successful in making you feel great!
Here are your parameters.
- Eat healthy things- this means try to eat local, non processed crap. No one can agree on a diet that is the be-all for dieting but everyone can agree that ingesting chemicals is just gross. Brown rice breaks down better than white so if you have the choice, whole grain is less processed and more filling, and fruits and veg as well as healthy fat are crucial to your body.
- Cut out gluten if you have an intolerance otherwise, don’t. Gluten free is not a diet, it is a food allergy and gluten free food is not healthier, it is just different. Same goes for any fad allergy related food things.
- Be reasonable and honest with yourself. If you eat ice cream every day, you will gain weight. If you don’t care, eat ice cream, if you do, limit yourself.
- Pick and choose your indulgences wisely so you maximize your enjoyment.
That was pretty much it.
Here are the inherent benefits to eating well.
First of all, your body is super smart and if you choose to listen closely, it will tell you exactly what it needs and wants to fuel you so likely, you will be eating everything you need to be eating.
There is no deprivation, no cheat days and no guilt. If you want something badly, you can have it. Your metabolism will pick up because it is getting what it needs and you will find yourself hungrier more often thus eating more often thus satatied more often. Its pretty sweet.
You will never again be that annoying person who is all like, “oh, can I have that in gluten free” even though everyone around you knows that you are not Celiac or the person being like “can you please make my eggs with PAM”- why would you even go out for eggs if you are cooking them in mother f-ing PAM?? Make that shit at home. Again, your body tells you what is good and what isn't so if milk makes you bloat stay away from milk or drink it if it feels good. You know, all hippy like.
And finally, one day in the future when you realize that you need to eat a balanced diet your body wont FREAK OUT at you for re-introducing carbs etc. your body will thank you and smile.
I’m going on the 100 year challenge of eating healthy good stuff and working out less but making the time I spend more effective and better. I plan to use my free time to have a life and stop obsessing about food and diet. Anyone else care to join me?
Xo,
Jane
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