Stupid Greedy Rat

Ed. note: as mentioned in the body of the blog itself, the word "greedy" should be understood both as the formal definition of greedy and also as; stupid, ignorant, ridiculous, annoying, stupid- did I mention stupid??? I really mean stupid.


Dear unnamed man who ran me over with his bike which had a small compartment attached carrying his toddler child this morning on the street.
Thanks.

Now, granted, I was running late for work this morning- a crisis created by my lack of things to wear that can hide my currently slightly chubby arms- so late I was, and I was definitely rushing and certainly not looking up to make sure that bike riding assholes noticed me, the pedestrian as they crossed the street where I was also crossing in the opposite direction but is that really any excuse?
This is why I hate bike riders. Sure, you are doing the universe a favor by skipping out on automobile pollution but being greeny does not afford you the venue to also be greedy. (like that one?)

Greedy= taking up more than your share of the road- shouldn’t have to switch lanes just to pass you by. Bikes are narrow and small and there is more than enough room for a good driver and a good biker to share a space
Greedy= riding your 2 wheeler on the sidewalk and then having the audacity to ring your stupid little bike bell at me to get out of the way. Pretty sure that you belong on the road. How would you like it if I rang a little wimpy bell at you to get out of my way?
Greedy= 3 of you riding side by side through the beltline. Cant we all just share the green space? Do I need to slow down my walking or running pace to be met by a barricade of you? I know you are not conversing through the helmets you are meant to be wearing (see next point) so cant you just follow one another?
Greedy= not wearing your helmets. I think the rule is that after 18 you are free to bike without a helmet- you are also free to drink turpentine at any age, eat a blob of dog shit or color your skin neon pink and call yourself neon man- that’s the beauty of living in a free country- that doesn’t mean that you should do it. I, for one, don’t care to see the innards of your skull when you get hit on your bike and smash it on the pavement. I think it is pretty greedy to think that you are exempt from freak/ non-freak accidents- maybe greedy isn't the word here- maybe stupid and ignorant are better choice but for the purpose of this blog- lets go with greedy and assume it to mean idiotic.

Greedy= this rat of a man pedaling his toddler in a tent on wheels behind his stupid bike right through the pedestrians without even looking up hopping onto the sidewalk- which was the exact locartion of the crime, and running me down. His tent attachment literally ran over me- great thing for your child to witness no doubt.

So to you dear man, dear greedy, awful man, I bid you some strong curse words and a warning to use your bike for the good it can do (no pollution and a fun way to et around the beautiful city we live in) and mind your wheels before the run over my too- expensive boots. Next time, you wont just get a loud name calling.....