GUEST POST- Judge a book by its cover

On this particular rainy Friday, I invite you to begin your weekend by reading a hilarious guest post by the fantastic Batgirl. 


Here you go- and you are welcome!

In a world where participation ribbons are the norm, and everyone is told that they are special, too many people believe that theirs is a unique and stupendous talent. Many of these people are wrong. Case in point: “Taken by the T-Rex.” This is not a book that should exist. This is whatever the opposite of the apotheosis of literature is. I genuinely fear for humanity that there is someone (someone’s?) out there that believes that this drivel is worthy of being added to the pantheon of the written word.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love me some well written trash. But therein lies the key – well written. Not everything needs to be “War and Peace” levels of literature, but I have to at least feel like my brain cells aren’t killing themselves so as to avoid reading the words.

In fairness, I have no idea as to the quality of the writing of this “book,” and I never intend to find out. But I can surmise based on the blurb alone, which was rife with poor sentence construction and possibly a few grammatical errors, that this is the type of book that would make 50 shade of grey look like The Grapes of Wrath. I won’t even get into the “plot.”

My point is, we’ve taken making people feel good about themselves too far. Not everyone is a gifted writer. Not everyone should be published. Some people should be banned from writing entirely. But in an age of self-publishing and fan-fiction become a best-seller, I fear that this will only get worse.

In case you need to know more:
http://www.amazon.com/Taken-T-Rex-Dinosaur-Erotica-ebook/dp/B00FI9JFFO

And, in case you don’t want to click on that link, here is the synopsis- Drin is her tribe’s chief huntress; she lives for the thrill of the hunt.  Men and sex hold no allure for her, as Drin has never found a partner to satisfy her.  When a T-Rex descends upon her village, destroying it, Drin demands that the tribe’s hunters go in search of the beast and slaughter it.  Opting for safety instead of revenge, the tribe moves to a new location, hoping that the big beast won’t follow them.
It does.
Drin taunts the beast, giving her tribes mates time to flee.  As she runs, leading it through a gauntlet of traps, the thrill of the hunt soars through her blood, leaving her wet with desire.  When the angry T-Rex corners the huntress in a box canyon, it seems more interested in her wet womanhood than in her flesh.


On that note, enjoy your weekends out and about- since it seems that nothing is taboo anymore, have fun... WHATEVER you are doing!

xo,
Batgirl and Jane. 

Jane Does Fitness- Morning glory #freshairdontcare

This morning I work up at 5:45 am ripe with terror. All night I had dreamt up excuses to stay in bed and loll about until the absolute last second possible to still be at work on time (like I always do). There was no way, in my dreams, that I was hauling my lazy ass out of bed to do anything when my alarm went off.

At 5:45, it is hella dark- there is no solace in your stepping out of bed. No morning sunrise to greet you for another hour, no wonderful reason for you to do anything but sleep. Yet, I found myself up, getting into clothes and walking out my door all before 6am.

A few months ago I found out that my office will be moving as a collective to a new building- this is amazing news and I am mega excited for my new neighborhood and space HOWEVER, I must bid adieu to my beloved office gym that has kept me from becoming an obese person for the past 2.5 years. Goodbye to spin classes, to my favorite Muscle Up noon class, to the Arc trainers I so diligently sweat onto and to the rowing machines where I fantasized about being a Yale rowing champion. Goodbye to the weight area filled with men who smirked as I dry heaved through my 15 pound bicep curls and a final goodbye to the glorious mats that always smelled bad- I loved you all the same.

I’m not a gym rat, that’s for sure but it is fair to say that fitness is a good part of my life and the stress of being gym-less is making me sweat.

Now, with my new office I am forced to either join a gym downtown, get home from work and pretend like I will ever go to my husband’s gym located just north of us, or think outside the box. I chose column C.

And so, with that in mind, my husband and I agreed to a one month challenge- 2 days per week- 6am- running.

Full circle back to my walking out of the door at 6am this morning- morning number 1 of our run-while-it-is-early-as-fuck program.

Overall, it was actually amazing. I watched the sunrise while sprinting a 5k through basically empty streets listening to Macklamore (because I just fucking love him) and Usher. I would have never thought about pop music pre noon- it is invigorating. Plus, the best perk of all is that I was home, showered and eating a wicked breakfast before I would usually even be awake. My only learning was DO NOT eat banana before running. I spent the end of my run trying not to barf banana on the road.

I just reread this post and I feel like one of those really annoying facebook friends who is all like, “ran 5k today and then saved a kitten from a burning house” which I read while I am shoveling my face full of ranch potato chips at my desk. I'm not that person. My cheerfulness is genuine- my wish that I could never run another inch in my life and still not look like Shamoo is too.

Happy trails to you,
J