An Ode to the Garden

A few months ago, I sunk into a writing funk and abandoned my blog- for what I thought would be for good.

For a few weeks, no one even noticed, reaffirming to me that mine was a lonely, unappreciated art.

And then, just as I began to reject the notion of “blogging” forever, something wonderful happened. In the span of but a few weeks I had 6 individual requests for more content.

Now 6 is no huge feat and frankly, I wish that I had 6000000 people banging down my doors to write (would certainly solve my dream to be a writer) but 6 is a start and a fairly encouraging one at that.

So, with that, I urge you to pretty please tell your friends and spread the word about these little musings.

Again, I reiterate that it only benefits us all if I become a famous person from this blog. Since the only people who really read this are family and friends, I can make the personal guarantee to buy you all cars with my fortunes should I blow up. And shit, you can have new houses too.

Deal?

So, with that.... My first post in a while....An Ode to the Garden.

This past weekend, this coming weekend and like the past 3 weekends, I have been knee deep in shit. Gardening has become in my 30’s what hangover days were in my 20’s- a great way to spend a quality Saturday.

So, knee deep in shit is an exaggeration, of course, because although I did in fact manure my lawn and garden, it was certainly not knee deep. Do you know how exhausting it is to even dig a few inches deep??

That being said, the overall crux of my statement above is that I spent Saturday gardening. We dedicated this past weekend to our vegetable garden since our flower garden is complete filled with color coordinated purple, blue and yellow flowers whose names I am never sure of.

Thankfully, amid the new Targets, the ever expanding Yorkdale malls and the Starbuck stores, there are some hidden gems in this city. allow me to introduce you to Plantworld. Located in the west end, this store’s name is not exactly an exaggeration- it is literally its own planet in size and also carries a world of plants. They has 45 tomatoes varieties. I didn’t even know there was mor than 5. It was one of the best mornings I have ever spent wandering those aisles filled with 16 kinds of Oregano varieties in parenial and annual forms. They even carried gargoyles for the yard and the best selection of garden gnomes I have ever seen. If I were not destined to be an old cat lady, you can bet your bottom dollar I would be that weird garden chatchka person with a thousand wind catchers and fake butterflies adorning my iris and creeping ivies.

So flower garden first. If you have a low chain fence and neighbors who rent their basement to kids who look like they belong in Juvy, then might I recommend cheap and cheerful bamboo reed fences? For 30 dollars per 16 feet, these fences are a saving grace to those of us who don’t want to have to see anyone with their shirt off in their neighboring yard, especially an unattractive, overweight guy who is unfriendly and smokes butts like they are going out of style.

Once we had the fence up (and some peace) we tackled the question of what to plant. Like a virgin, you just don’t know where to put it, will it fit and will it grow? So, like a virgin, we stabbed away and hope for an explosion of color and life! We planted 3 kinds of lavender including the kind you can pick and dry out- which would be awesome if it grew since I spend a lot of unnecessary money on dried lavender for my bathroom... Anyways, we also planted a bunch of peonies, bear claws and lambs ears.

Like a good mom, I watch my little flowers every day and take the greatest delight when I see a new bud and weep when a flower gets damaged or pulled off. It is obsessive, sure, but isnt that the pre-requisite to a good new hobby?

For veggies, my goal is to have enough growing that we don’t have to hit up the grocery store all summer long. So far we have planted arugula, radicchio, chard, cucumber, tomatoes, lavender (obvi), oregano, thyme, mint, cilantro, rosemary and raspberries. Again, I watch these obsessively and drag my husband out to see the plants nightly insisting that the rainbow chard has certainly grown at least an inch since the night before (or has it?). I squealed out loud last night when I noticed my raspberry bush was beginning to spout thorns- as a side note, I have been aggressively warned about raspberry bushes as being really bad- apparently they basically vomit other raspberry bushes everywhere so buyer beware.

In the same way I feel about my flowers, I figure that my vegetables will do what they will. Not being a seasoned farmer, I have no idea what to expect so I guess we will see what happens and then know more for next year....

In the meantime, we have also been doing a bit of DIY landscaping. There is nothing more satisfying that getting down and dirty with your yard. Maybe in a few years when we are older and jaded (and less poor), we will go ahead and hire a gardener and landscaper but for now, I cant imagine paying someone to do something that is just so damn fun.

Of course, with every yin, comes a yang and the bane of my gardening existence- ironically enough- is the huge, very old and very beautiful cherry trees I have growing in my backyard. These 2 trees are the never-ending source of delightful shade, gorgeous blossoms and (fingers crossed) sweet cherry fruit. They are also the source of having my entire yard covered in blossoms that have blown off the trees, an inordinate amount of cherry stems that have also blown off the trees and nightly terrors when it storms worrying that they will fall over and cause millions in damages to our neighborhood (yup, they are that big)

Anyways- I am slowly learning why gardening is a seriously committed activity- we cleaned the whole garden up, mowed the lawn and picked the weeds last weekend so imagine my surprise when I went outside last night to BBQ and found the yard in a state of disarray that seemingly happened overnight! You can guess what I will be doing this weekend now too....

Gardening, the new Saturday night at the clubs. Mark my words. If you are rolling your eyes at this- wait until you turn 30 and buy your first house. You will be singing the praises of daisy varieties and tomato stakes in no time.

Happy planting,
Jane