Hi readers,
As February rolls to an end in just 9 more days, I think it worthwhile to review the month.
My first admission is that I totes didn’t hand in my sketchbook this year. I feel like such a hack for the amount of time I spend doodling and the lack of time I put towards just doing it in the confines of the brown paper pages they provide. So for the first time in 3 years, I will not have a tiny slot in the vast library of people who draw shit- my book and it’s under-developed story will live in my own color coded bookshelves always amiss for the absence of a full brown section (because OCD dictates that a rust brown be categorized with oranges, obviously).
I actually even thought my story was pretty damn good but never with an opportunity to really fluff out the details. If I hate anything in life (I hate lots of things- this is just a dramatic line for no one) it is a story that has an unsatisfying ending. Where my main character, Saucer Eyes, lost her panache was in the conclusion because I was just powering through the final 4 pages. Lesson learned folks, lesson learned.
Second point was the second gathering of my new book club. I have this (endearing????) tendency to coo over people when I am drunk. Like, put some wine into me and if I like you, you are sure to know it. This was a totally plague in my high school/university days when boys were involved because it is impossible to play hard-to-get when you just word vomit love on people the second alcohol touches your lips. Frankly, I still word puke on people all the time- it makes me thankful that I am scared of confrontations because I can only imagine that if I wasn’t, the word bile could be dangerous to my health and well-being. As it stands, no one ever wants to punch you for telling them how great they are and how much you value them- although I did once accidentally tell a boy I loved him when I was drunk (it was a total “I totally love you man” moment) and I probs broke his heart when he said it back, and meant it- I digress....
Book club- right, that’s where we were. If I had not been super careful with my vino consumption I would have totally love-sploded on these girls- new friends are the best.
So this month we read The Marriage Plot. I loved this book. Yes, the female character was weak, pathetic and totally driven by a need to be accepted and loved by a man but is that honestly so unfathomable? Have I myself not been said girl and do I not know a slew of fellow love fools who have gone off the deep end for the sake of love- in fact, I would assert that love would be so much less exciting if not for the craziness that it instills in people- I like that it turns you into a maniac, that it is unreliable and gut wrenching at times- makes it real yo.
Anywho, it obviously made me think about both mine and my friends various relationships throughout our younger years and how many times I did stupid shit in the name of a dude- how much I put up with in the name of a dude. It was so easy to read this book and judge the character’s flaws and misgivings as it is to judge people around you who you think are in crappy relationships. Alls I can tell you is that in hindsight- if everyone around you hates your partner or has cray stuff to say about them, they probably suck. I would only wish that when I told my friend who was dating a pseudo homeless guy, married guy, total loser guy, insert shitty quality here they had listened to me- likewise, when my mom and dad/ friends used to tell me how totally crap my bf was- I wish I had listened to them- teenagers, always learning shit the hard way.
Love. My favorite topic of all time was pretty much the theme of the whole month following the reading of The Marriage Plot. Craving book, I read The Rules of Civility- a love story set in jazz era NYC about a love triangle, love lost and how love lingers. This was followed by The Paris Wife- the love story of Ernest Hemingway and his first wife- both touched on the idea of the love that you will always and never have- I like that idea- that people exist in your life that you will always and never love- somewhere out there someone always and never loves you- think about it.
And, on the topic of love, I bring you Valentine’s day- Plantain style. Any holiday that involves candy- in. I really don’t care for all that crap about not wanting to participate in a Hallmark holiday or that Valentines Day is depressing for single people or annoying for couples who have to go out and spend unnecessary money on flowers. Hot daym scrooges- get with the love fest.
Who ever said anything about Valentines Day being for couples???
A day of love should celebrate just that. Love. If you have no love in your life, then fine- you deserve to bitch about Valentines day but I would redirect your efforts into becoming a nicer person- just saying.
For V day this year, I took myself on a mini shopping spree and treated myself to new yoga clothes, I volunteered, I ate something yummy and bought presents for upcoming celebrations in the lives of people around me because you know what? I love myself (and clothes) love yoga, love doing good for the greater good, love food, and love the special people in my life. Sure, my hubby was with me for the evening and yes- I bought him a book I knew he would like but I felt more grateful to have so much love in my life period than to be married- shit, I celebrate being married to a wonderful man every single day.
Oh, and I wore read the whole 24 hours. Booya.
And finally, February was the month of giving up on my wake-up-early-everyday thing. Honestly, if anyone has a tip or trick related to getting my ass out of bed at a time that allows me room to breath before running out the door- please share. I will consider it community service- you can think of yourself as a good deed doer.
Yours very truly- in the February spirit,
Jane.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
13 going on 30
This past weekend was a perfect example of why I feel like a child and adult wrapped in a big package.
The kid in me was elated to be going (for my third time- don’t judge me) to Medieval Times. Yes, the very Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament that you have seen in the commercials- the site of my first Valentine’s date with my now-husband. It was my great fortune that his office decided to rent out the venue as the site of their office kids party.
With a mixture of favorable nostalgia and a 3 year old level of enthusiasm I tried to contain myself during the car-ride down. I spoke not of my strong, almost crazy desire to get my face painted blue to match out assigned knight- 30 year old women don’t paint their face- unless it is with an excess of cover up to hide the ever-growing wrinkles.
It was thankful that we had our nephew there with us to legitimize our running alongside hundreds of children and pushing our way to see the falcon and horses before the show. There is nothing weirder than realizing you are a lone adult in a kid’s environment (ie. When my husband and I, one year at Chudleigh’s Apple Farm found ourselves alone with a bunch of kids in the hay maze- you feel like a creep despite not being one at all).
The tournament itself was hilarious- made all the more so by watching my little nephew watch in awe as the horses and knights and falcon performed their act- I think his mouth was agape for 2 whole hours staring. It was adorbs.
I was slightly disappointed that the 5 year old girl sitting next to me was awarded the “fairest maiden” flower.
From the lunch and jousting, my hubs and I went to Liberty Village to get some lights at EQ3- nothing juxtaposes your child and adult tendencies like spending one hour eating with your hands and being jealous of 5 year old to putting sensible (but so cute) light fixtures on your Visa and considering the merits of exposed versus closed shelving units.
And just as quick as adult-tasks came in, they left and I took a wicked afternoon nap. Naps to me have always been a huge player in the kid vs. adult battle. It is so childlike to need a nap in order to function for a night out- kids have full nap schedules in fact and napping is a huge part of being a kid- however, napping also signifys to me, a sense of what an adult is all about- being tired. When I was in high school and university I slept until the afternoon rendering naps useless. Now in this period of my life when I am perpetually awake before 8am every day, when I loose sleep on the regular due to stress and when I just cant hack going out for a whole night on the little overnight sleep I had- I feel entitled and due to nap. It is a great adult luxury and a great kid necessity.
Waking up from a nap when it is dark outside is hard. You almost feel a moments inclination to just say F-it and sleep the rest of the night away. Unless you have a super fun night ahead of you and then, like us this past weekend, you get ready and out the door lickity split. Saturday night was filled with 2 birthdays sharing a birthday feast- there is nothing I love to do more than have a long, luxurious, delicious, drunk dinner that goes into the wee hours of the night and leaves all attendant satiated and hammered. I was not disappointed. But again found myself feeling like a kid- going outside with no coat on, licking the sauce from the wicked meat pie off my fingers with no regard for table decorum and generally running around the resto like I ran shit- I don’t run anything.
Morning time came and if there is any time in life you feel quite like an adult it is when you realize that you can’t spend a night indulging without paying the price. AND nothing puts the cherry on that sundae like attending the bday party of your friend’s 2 year old daughter, cleaning your house from top to bottom and grocery shopping a sensible shop for the week to come.
All this said, I was thankful (albeit tired) to end my night in the perfect blend of the 2 juxtaposing Plantains that I was facing all weekend. Amid candy, popcorn, fruit and chocolate I spent my night with 10 amazing girls laughing our faces off. Sure, the jokes were juvenile and the junk food indicative of a time when candy didn’t go straight to my second and third asses but looking around the room at the wonderful friends I have who are such amazing beautiful and accomplished women, I was happy to be a grown up. (Except for the 15 minutes when Beyonce performed in that amazing leather lace number and I thought to myself that I wished I could go back to being 21 with a body like that- not that I ever looked like that but pre- 3 asses right?_
The kid in me was elated to be going (for my third time- don’t judge me) to Medieval Times. Yes, the very Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament that you have seen in the commercials- the site of my first Valentine’s date with my now-husband. It was my great fortune that his office decided to rent out the venue as the site of their office kids party.
With a mixture of favorable nostalgia and a 3 year old level of enthusiasm I tried to contain myself during the car-ride down. I spoke not of my strong, almost crazy desire to get my face painted blue to match out assigned knight- 30 year old women don’t paint their face- unless it is with an excess of cover up to hide the ever-growing wrinkles.
It was thankful that we had our nephew there with us to legitimize our running alongside hundreds of children and pushing our way to see the falcon and horses before the show. There is nothing weirder than realizing you are a lone adult in a kid’s environment (ie. When my husband and I, one year at Chudleigh’s Apple Farm found ourselves alone with a bunch of kids in the hay maze- you feel like a creep despite not being one at all).
The tournament itself was hilarious- made all the more so by watching my little nephew watch in awe as the horses and knights and falcon performed their act- I think his mouth was agape for 2 whole hours staring. It was adorbs.
I was slightly disappointed that the 5 year old girl sitting next to me was awarded the “fairest maiden” flower.
From the lunch and jousting, my hubs and I went to Liberty Village to get some lights at EQ3- nothing juxtaposes your child and adult tendencies like spending one hour eating with your hands and being jealous of 5 year old to putting sensible (but so cute) light fixtures on your Visa and considering the merits of exposed versus closed shelving units.
And just as quick as adult-tasks came in, they left and I took a wicked afternoon nap. Naps to me have always been a huge player in the kid vs. adult battle. It is so childlike to need a nap in order to function for a night out- kids have full nap schedules in fact and napping is a huge part of being a kid- however, napping also signifys to me, a sense of what an adult is all about- being tired. When I was in high school and university I slept until the afternoon rendering naps useless. Now in this period of my life when I am perpetually awake before 8am every day, when I loose sleep on the regular due to stress and when I just cant hack going out for a whole night on the little overnight sleep I had- I feel entitled and due to nap. It is a great adult luxury and a great kid necessity.
Waking up from a nap when it is dark outside is hard. You almost feel a moments inclination to just say F-it and sleep the rest of the night away. Unless you have a super fun night ahead of you and then, like us this past weekend, you get ready and out the door lickity split. Saturday night was filled with 2 birthdays sharing a birthday feast- there is nothing I love to do more than have a long, luxurious, delicious, drunk dinner that goes into the wee hours of the night and leaves all attendant satiated and hammered. I was not disappointed. But again found myself feeling like a kid- going outside with no coat on, licking the sauce from the wicked meat pie off my fingers with no regard for table decorum and generally running around the resto like I ran shit- I don’t run anything.
Morning time came and if there is any time in life you feel quite like an adult it is when you realize that you can’t spend a night indulging without paying the price. AND nothing puts the cherry on that sundae like attending the bday party of your friend’s 2 year old daughter, cleaning your house from top to bottom and grocery shopping a sensible shop for the week to come.
All this said, I was thankful (albeit tired) to end my night in the perfect blend of the 2 juxtaposing Plantains that I was facing all weekend. Amid candy, popcorn, fruit and chocolate I spent my night with 10 amazing girls laughing our faces off. Sure, the jokes were juvenile and the junk food indicative of a time when candy didn’t go straight to my second and third asses but looking around the room at the wonderful friends I have who are such amazing beautiful and accomplished women, I was happy to be a grown up. (Except for the 15 minutes when Beyonce performed in that amazing leather lace number and I thought to myself that I wished I could go back to being 21 with a body like that- not that I ever looked like that but pre- 3 asses right?_
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